Winter Solstice.

What a beautifully perfect day. Not only is it Sunday, the official start to a fresh new week that just happens to hold within it Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Boxing Day, today is also the new moon AND it's Winter Solstice too! The shortest day, longest night of the year. If we can endure tonight's darkness, tomorrow the light begins to seep back in. I just love that.

I think I dig the Winter Solstice more than Christmas, because I am an introvert and this day gives permission to go within, to reflect on our lives if you will and ya'll know how much I love my reflections.

I feel so fortunate to be living here on the Northwest coast of Canada, yet I often feel alien here. I don't feel I belong here so I know this isn't permanent. 

Still what is? The only real constant is change, we are ever-evolving and seeking and growing. The trick is, are we looking within for true guidance? Or are we being pulled along by circumstance? Are we living conditionally or unconditionally? And by that I don't mean unconditionally as in the sense of unconditional love that we might be used to hearing about -- "that person annoys the shit out of me, but I am going to do my damnedest to love them anyway! Grrrrrrr."

No. I mean making the choice to be happy, to choose love over fear, to think in a positive manner, no matter what life throws at us. To choose to feel good and feel well even though our circumstances might be a bit on the crap side. I mean who among us doesn't have something to complain about, something we wish were different, something we long to do better or be more successful at? Sure. We all do. But it's how we approach those challenges that matter at the end of the day. Rather than complain about what isn't working, we can choose to focus on what is working, there-by picking happiness over sadness etc.

I love to read the New Moon report from The Cosmic Path. Something that I read there today struck a chord:

The darkness of the new Moon matches the darkness of the day, of the invitation to go within and soak up the healing qualities of peace and quiet. Pluto in Capricorn, conjunct Venus, invites deep reflection. What is it that you truly wish to do with your time here?

Be gentle with yourself over these next couple of months. Acknowledge the seed of light that is growing brighter and also allow yourself to go deeper into rest when you can. The growing light over the next several months will wake you when it is time to emerge more fully. If a year were a day, this time might be thought of as predawn – when you can see the light but know you have a few more hours to luxuriate; to sleep, dream, to be cozy and warm....

The new Moon invites you to look within at dynamics that empower and those that don’t, to take responsibility for your actions and to live with authenticity. Many shifts have already taken place and another clearing will take place before more new people, ideas, and opportunities arise. There is a continuous sifting process occurring, a discarding of what is inessential, a shedding of old skins, layer after layer.

When I reflect on what it means to be free, I realize freedom isn’t about total separation and autonomy. My first instinct in thinking about freedom is to focus on ‘me’ as separate from everything else. But we are never truly separate. The wave never separates from the sea. We are part of nature. So it feels to me like freedom is about being as in harmony as possible with that which I am, and less identified with that which I am not. Harmonizing with nature, love, the stars, and with each other feels like freedom. With that freedom comes relaxation and the ability to express my unique essence as an expression of nature.

When I remember I am connected to everything around me, I feel a sudden great relief, realizing I don’t have to be working so hard to hold myself up as separate.  Like the trees, we have interconnected roots and hold each upright. The more any of us strengthens our foundation, the more we all benefit.


Isn't there just something about this day, this time of year that makes you want to take a look at where you've come from and set your sights on the horizon of where you want to go? Use these extra hours of darkness to turn inward, to listen to that quiet still voice within that holds the wisdom of the ages and see what answers emerge in the dawn.

Happy Winter Solstice, happy holidays, may you feel the deluge of a tidal wave of blessing and good fortune in this coming new year.

Oh yes, and PS, if any of you are doing Tracy Anderson's live stream class, please let me know how it goes.

Big hugs,
Shan


 

Holiday Treat - Repost

Hello Darlings -

I have a little treat in store for you this week. In my renewed commitment to be sugar-free-abstemious, I was reminded of a delicious holiday treat that I made a few Christmases ago during a holiday bake-a-thon on a trip home to be with the fam.

In order to get through the hols with my sanity and waist-line in tact, I had a few sweet treats in my arsenal that completely saved me, and this was one of my faves... You can read the old post HERE.

Chocolate Date Truffle

2 cups pecans toasted

1 cup dates pitted (12-14)

1 tbsp coconut oil

1/3 cup cocoa powder

½ cup coconut lightly toasted

 

In food processor, blend all ingredients but coconut, until mixture is smooth.

Add more coconut oil if mixture appears too dry to roll into balls.

Take generous teaspoonfuls and roll into balls, then roll in coconut.

 

Store in tightly covered container in fridge. To serve bring to room temp.

Makes about 16 (I put mine in little cupcake paper thingies for safe storage)

 

 

Each one 121 calories, 2 g protein, 10 g fat, 8 g carbs, 5 g sugar (naturally occurring not added) and 2 g fiber.

 

I hope this offers a little comfort and joy and helps get you through the season without breaking the caloric bank!

 

All my best,

Shan

 

 

 

 

December's Virtue

So here's a fun fact (not really fun, I just like the expression) a week ago today, November 23rd was the two-year anniversary of my mom's accident. To catch you up, she was at a soccer game and fainted on the cement floor, putting a five-and-a-half inch fracture into the back of her head. Remarkably she's made a near full recovery. Am so thankful for all of the thoughts and prayers that so many people had sent.

It was around that time or shortly after that I'd gotten back into meditation. The stress of the situation among other things drove me to need some sort of momentary reprieve. Since then I've been going steady and I make it to the meditation cushion almost nightly. It folds in nicely to the monthly virtues that I try to practice each month.

As I've been busy knocking myself out trying to break into television, I'd been trying to work out virtues that might compliment that work. For example in October I'd practiced "Good Timing" as my virtue, closely followed by "Authenticity" in November. So when it came to choosing the virtue for December, I wanted to keep it in a similar bent but found myself stuck for what might work.

And then I read this quote by Oscar Wilde: "An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all." I liked that. 

Then He Who Shall Not Be Named shared a quote with me by Ellen Johnson Sirleaf that said: "If your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough." Hmm, that's some food for thought right there.

Dangerous ideas, big dreams, a career in Film and Television - there's a connection in there somewhere I'm sure of it. As mentioned in my previous, rather political Thanksgiving post, I have an idea for a show that is going to be an extremely hard sell because it's going to rock the boat and nice girls shouldn't rock the boat. 

So do I pick Courage or Fearlessness as the virtue? Been there, done that. I wondered if "to dream" was a virtue, but even if it was it feels a little too passive. I am tired of dreaming. I want my dreams to be my reality.

Because we're talking about quotes, this one by Emily Dickinson came up: "Dwell in possibility." I like it, it feels stronger than 'to dream'. There is so much power in an idea. So I dug a little further and came across a webpage that had a list of great quotes about strong ideas.

"If at first an idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it." Albert Einstein.

"An idea is salvation by imagination." Frank Lloyd Wright.

Actually check out the page HERE.

Then I stumbled across this gem by the great leader, Nelson Mandela: "It always seems impossible until it's done."

That's it right there. Today's stretch is tomorrow's yawn. We are infinitely capable of anything. So I think Emily Dickinson has it.

December's virtue is an action virtue and the action will be to "Dwell in possibility."

I wish not only for each and every one of you to carry the light of a dream in your hearts, I wish for you to find the path to that dream's realization!

Happy December, lovelies.
Shan

American Thanksgiving

I've been a little busier than I'd like and haven't been able to get here with any regularity, but since I did put up a post about Canadian Thanksgiving, I thought I'd better get my butt in gear and do one for American Thanksgiving too. 

In any case, for all of the things that this holiday has stemmed from (the atrocities and genocide that go hand in hand with colonization)  and grown into to, (massive spending on Black Friday) if we strip all of it away and just keep the gratitude - it's a pretty magnificent day.

I'm sorry to hear that we're still having the same issues in America that we had nearly 100 years ago - hello shitty race relations - 1919 Chicago Riots anyone? But I am grateful to see an African American President in the US and the first Treaty Indian Member of Parliament in Canada (okay folks we still have a long way to go). I'm grateful that I live in a place where we can (for the most part) practice our cultures and beliefs along side one another.

I'm grateful that I can post my thoughts and ideas onto a public forum and not get stoned for it. 

I don't know why I went political here today - I guess because I have an idea for a new TV show that would be a period piece taking place when times were not as congenial and it's been in the forefront of my mind. It's going to be a good show some day, I promise you that!

Whatever is going on in your life or in your neighborhood today, I hope you'll be able to look around you and spot some good things. The faces of the friends and family you love, a full belly, a roof over your head, comfy socks, your sweet cat, whatever it is, I hope you find it and are aware of it and and it makes you glad to be alive. Happy Thanksgiving.

Big hugs.
Shan

 

Going Weightless!

How’d you like to go weightless with me this holiday season? I’m not talking anti-gravity or a space movie; I’m talking about being weightless in the sense of memories of a time before we weighed ourselves. How far back do you have to go? Childhood? Teens? Early twenties? Okay even I laughed at that last one.

Perhaps some have never been lucky enough to not be intimate with the scale, but I have memories of being a kid, running around in the woods or at the lake, never thinking twice about how I looked in my swimsuit or shorts. Sure, my Grandmother would often remind me to hold in my tummy so I wouldn’t grow up to be one of those ladies with a fat belly. “Gran, there was no way to prevent my Abcentricity I’m afraid, but you should know that wherever you are, if you’re looking down on me right now, I’m sucking it in.” Ha ha.

It seems as though somehow this weight-consciousness has just crept into our lives and become part of the every day. We watch what we eat. We feel guilty when we fail. We pretox, detox, diet, and binge. We workout. We work. We have families and fun. We never have time. Yet weekly, sometimes daily, we step on that damned scale and it determines our worth; if not our worth, at least our mood for the day. Since finding TAM and going on my first “diet” four years ago, (yikes has it been that long?) I feel like I have become a yoyo-er. My weight is up, it’s down, I feel good, I feel bad, I work hard, I slack off. I still workout five or six days a week but I am tired of spinning my wheels where diet and weight are concerned. Is this what mid-life is supposed to be like? Me thinks not! I am quoting Shakespeare or something like him there btw.

With five weeks until Christmas I have made a decision to do something different. I am going weightless. 

I’m putting away the bathroom scale and my Tracy Anderson tape measure and I am going to experience what it felt like to be a kid at holiday time. Fortunately I had a good mother when it came to the holidays. She baked and bought chocolates, but she also made sure there were fresh whole nuts on hand complete with a shiny nutcracker. She also stocked up on Mandarin oranges and fresh veggies. She was good about creating balance for us. Thanks for the memories, Mama. (It was no doubt harder on her this time of year since she used the bathroom scale and her Jane Fonda workouts et al). But we were allowed a cookie or two, perhaps one chocolate, but not the whole box, never the whole box, and we were encouraged to “fill up” on the other things. To this day I love those little easy to peel oranges and cracking a walnut or an almond from its shell.

Instead of looking outside of ourselves for comfort and joy this season, why not keep checking in within ourselves? Let's ask ourselves the questions that our parents might have asked when we were moody as kids. How do you feel? What do you really want? More importantly, what do you need? 

I don't know about you, but I don’t want to cross chocolate off my Christmas wish list; I no longer want to make an enemy of the things I love. But I certainly don’t want to have to purchase a pair of Fat Pants in the New Year either. Perhaps if we pay attention in the moment to what’s going on inside of us, we can intuitively guide ourselves through the season coming out on the other side with fond memories and some semblance of a waistline. 

Yes, I’ll no doubt still have to “suck it in” but at least maybe "it" won’t be bursting to get out.

I also like the idea of working toward a goal. The goal here being to see if I can keep trim and fit so that when I do next step in to weigh myself, the number I see there won’t be a shocker. Perhaps I can look forward to a little dip in that number instead, and thinking about that might keep me from guzzling the whole bottle of champagne. Oh who am I kidding, when it comes to champagne there's no stopping me and besides, I wasn't allowed champagne as a kid. I digress.

Weightless it is, starting today. So, dear scale, you get a break this holiday season too. Enjoy the warm comfort of being under the bed. Don’t get too used to it, you’ll be back to work in 2015.

Cheers.

Shan

Ho-Ho-Hold the Holidays!

What the hell, man? Everywhere I look I see Christmas. We were barely past Halloween (I'm saying people were still in costumes) when the decorations came out! Whaaaat?!? I'm not ready for the holidays to start yet, are you?

I'd been doing so well. Two weeks off the sugar and handling it like a pro, then the Halloween candy went on sale.... then I hit the airport for a whirlwind cross-country business trip and bing bang boom! I was a chocolate-eating maniac. Ha, the irony is that when I came home, I stepped on the scale and had lost two pounds. Ain't Irony a bitch! I felt like crap tho, jet-lag didn't help and decided that I wanted to do a detox.

So I popped out to Whole Foods to pick up my fave, Wild Rose Detox and they were sold out! Can you believe it? Seems I wasn't the only one thinking it's time for a cleanse. I had to go to four stores to find what I was after. Are you kidding me? I'd began to think that the universe was trying to tell me something: "Eat chocolate. Eat Chocolate!" Or maybe that was just my obnoxious inner voice.

In the end I got my detox and started it on Thursday. The same day I came across a GOOP post that had Gwyneth Paltrow talking about doing the same thing. When I'm onto something, I am really onto something! It's not like GP is my BFF and we called each other up and said: "Hey are you feeling all bloated and groggy and want to get feeling tip top so we can drink more champers over the hols?" (for those of you who don't have Brits around your table the translation is -- so we can drink more champagne over the holidays)  You know, Gwynnie being formerly coupled with a Brit and He Who Shall Not Be Named being from the UK, naturally we have tons in common...

Anyway.

I'm a firm believer that Misery Loves Company, oops, did I type that out loud? I meant it's so nice to have someone to share all this sparkling clean eating with so here I am blogging about it.

Now you and me and GP can all get squeaky clean together. You can read all about her cleanse at the above link, but for ease, here is the Cliff notes version.

Plus she follows the golden 12-Hour rule. Leave 12 hours between your evening meal and breakfast the next day. I'll tell you, that has been my digestion's best friend.

While I haven't been perfect this weekend (there was a little matter of the hollandaise and "English" muffin that came with this morning's eggs bennie - I blame the Brit... god I hope he doesn't read this) I've stayed off the sugar again!!! and am doing better than if I'd not been on a detox.

Go team clean. Making room for our holiday goodies, snacks and champers will be worth this week of hell, I mean clean!!

xo
Shan


 

Getting Older

I'm so fortunate to have a circle of beautiful and very diverse woman whom I call friends. One or two have been around since I was a teenager, others I have collected along the way, in the towns and cities I've lived, or the places I've traveled along the way. Some have been with me physically, others only through cyber-space. But I love you! Every one of you. It is my honor to know you. Among these amazing women, I include my mother, my mother-in-law, my sister, my aunt and nieces and sister-in-laws. 

That was a huge and overwhelming moment of gratitude. I had to stop typing. I just want to say thanks. Thank you for knowing me and loving me anyway. Thank you for being there. For sharing and for noticing. 

It's so important that we bear witness to one anothers' lives so that none of us goes unnoticed. It can feel sometimes as we age that we become unseen or somehow invisible. Women truly are the unsung heroes of many homes and families.

In the spirit of saying I see you, I notice and I love you no matter what is happening on the outside of you, I want to share an article that one such lovely, precious and dear friend shared with me just this morning. I had intended to write about detoxing prior to the holidays, not only because I just started a detox yesterday and feel better already, but also because I noticed that Gwyneth Paltrow had recently posted a little detox on Goop that she suggested as a pre-holiday idea. I will get to that. I also wanted to let you know about some amazing cruelty-free products that I've discovered and have added to my routine. Again, that will come. Stay tuned.

In the mean time, this felt like it wanted to be shared first. The lovely and amazing Natalia of Basmati Lime emailed me the link to this fabulous article and I believe so strongly that you should read it, I've copied it in it's entirety here. Read on for some serious inspiration.

25 Famous Women on Getting Older

Written my Julie Ma

Dewy, un-creased twentysomethings have long been held up as the essence and ideal of womanhood in popular culture. But you know the mania for youth has reached new heights when glossy magazines allow no more than three wrinkles on the faces that grace their covers and people — Kim Kardashian, for example — go so far as to retouch their selfies before posting them on Instagram. Sure, there are frequent stories about how “30 is the new 20” or “50 is the new 30,” but rarely do we see women over a certain age — unretouched, unapologetic, not medically intervened upon — held up as desirable or admirable, or even held up at all. (Meanwhile, silver-haired men abound in movies and on TV in seats of power.)

But plenty of women have the guts to face the music — and the mirror — with grace. Here, a collection of thoughts on the woes and delights of aging from 25 famous women, including Meryl Streep, Toni Morrison, and Betty White. The power of wrinkles, how sex at 60 beats sex at 16, staring down chin hairs — it’s all here.

1. "I wouldn't want to be 20 now. I know so much more, and I'm much more comfortable in my skin, saggy as it is ... When I hear young girls complaining about superficial things ... You're at the peak of your physical beauty right now! Just enjoy it and stop worrying about your thighs being too big ... If you're upset with how you look at 25, life's going to be tough." —Susan Sarandon, V Magazine, winter 2010/11

2. "We live in a youth-obsessed culture that is constantly trying to tell us that if we are not young, and we're not glowing, and we're not hot, that we don't matter. I refuse to let a system or a culture or a distorted view of reality tell me that I don't matter. I know that only by owning who and what you are can you start to step into the fullness of life. Every year should be teaching us all something valuable. Whether you get the lesson is really up to you." —Oprah, O, the Oprah Magazine, May 2011

3. "I will never retire unless I have to. As long as I'm able to get up in the morning, get that makeup on and my high heels on, and even if I can't wear high heels, I'm going to do like Mae West, I'm going to sit in a wheelchair with my high heels on." —Dolly Parton, Nightline, November 2012

4. “I am convinced that most people do not grow up ... We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias.” —Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter, October 2009

5. “I haven’t done any [cosmetic surgery], but who knows ... When you’ve had children, your body changes; there’s history to it. I like the evolution of that history; I’m fortunate to be with somebody who likes the evolution of that history. I think it’s important to not eradicate it. I look at someone’s face and I see the work before I see the person. I personally don’t think people look better when they do it; they just look different ... And if you’re doing it out of fear, that fear’s still going to be seen through your eyes.” —Cate Blanchett, Vanity Fair, February 2009

6. "It’s horrible getting older, I have to tell you. I mean, it’s wonderful because you see the circles of life get completed, you know. But it’s horrible losing your looks. Horrible. If you’ve been a pretty woman and always pursued by lovers, losing that and not having that — it feels like a great loss ... I’ve always had men pursue me. I’ve always had that ‘it’ thing. God knows why. Maybe it’s pheromones, I don’t know." —Erica Jong, The Believer, October 2013

7. “Old age ain't no place for sissies.” —Bette Davis, The Girl Who Walked Home Alone: Bette Davis — A Personal Biography by Charlotte Chandler, March 2007

8. "I'm very f*cking grateful to be alive. I have so many friends who are sick or gone, and I'm here. Are you kidding? No complaints!" —Meryl Streep, Vanity Fair, January 2010

9. "Best thing about being in your 90s is you're spoiled rotten. Everybody spoils you like mad and they treat you with such respect because you're old. Little do they know, you haven't changed. You haven't changed in [the brain]. You're just 90 every place else ... Now that I'm 91, as opposed to being 90, I'm much wiser. I'm much more aware and I'm much sexier." —Betty White, People, February 2013

10. “I do think that when it comes to aging, we're held to a different standard than men. Some guy said to me: ‘Don't you think you're too old to sing rock n' roll?’ I said: ‘You'd better check with Mick Jagger’.” —Cher, Fifty on Fifty: Wisdom, Inspiration, and Reflections on Women's Lives Well Lived by Bonnie Miller Rubin, November 1998

11. "Yeah, f*ck you, I'm 50. That's what I'm going to say when I turn 50." —Madonna, Nightline, 2008

12. "I actually have better sex — which is the bottom line, is it not? At 60. Because you learn how to, you know, work the vehicle better.” —Lauren Hutton, on her website

13. “There is a saying that with age, you look outside what you are inside. If you are someone who never smiles your face gets saggy. If you’re a person who smiles a lot, you will have more smile lines. Your wrinkles reflect the roads you have taken; they form the map of your life." —Diane von Furstenberg, The Woman I Wanted to Be, October 2014

14. "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” —Lucille Ball, People, January 1996

15. “If you take care of yourself, 60 is nothing for women these days. In today's world you can be the kind of woman you want to be ... Of course, I've aged a bit in the face, but not enough to worry about it. I've common sense enough to know that if I'm nearly 70 something has to give." —Tina Turner, The Mirror, February 2009

16. "Listen, the best advice on aging is this: What’s the alternative? The alternative, of course, is death. And that’s a lot of shit to deal with. So I’m happy to deal with menopause. I’ll take it." —Whoopi Goldberg, New Jersey Monthly, May 2013

17. "I see myself on TV and I say, 'Oh, I wish that weren't happening to my neck. And your face is falling down, and your eyes are so puffy ... I don't want to look old and worn, but what can you do? My real focus is being an actor. I care more about having the opportunity to play roles that I haven't played than I care if my neck looks like someone's bedroom curtains." —Sally Fields, Good Housekeeping, March 2009

18. "My 40s were pretty great, but now, in my 50s — oh, just saying that sounds so ancient! — there comes this wonderful self-knowledge. You're not trying to be somebody else, or do something else with your life. You think: Here I am. I've gone through this, I've survived that, and I know who I am now. There's still the part of me that wants to leap at every opportunity, but now there's the other side that says, 'Let's just wait a minute and see what happens.' That's intuition, and it comes with age and experience. I'm grateful for that, for knowing that I don't have to put my heart out there all the time and can just listen to that inner voice." —Kim Cattrall, Good Housekeeping, July 2014
19. "At 81, I don't feel guilty about anything ... There's nothing inside that's 81. It's just the changes in the body. And the memory. I don't remember where the keys are. Or as my son says, 'Ma, it's not that you don't remember where you put the keys, it's when you pick up your keys and you don't know what they're for'.” —Toni Morrison, The Guardian, April 2012

20. "I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows." —Janette Barber, Better After 50

21. "Here's what I know: I'm a better person at fifty than I was at forty-eight ... and better at fifty-two than I was at fifty. I'm calmer, easier to live with. All this stuff is in my soul forever. Just don't get lazy. Work at your relationships all the time. Take care of friendships, hold people you love close to you, take advantage of birthdays to celebrate fiercely. It's the worrying — not the years themselves — that will make you less of a woman." —Patti LaBelle, Fifty on Fifty: Wisdom, Inspiration, and Reflections on Women's Lives Well Lived by Bonnie Miller Rubin, November 1998

22. “The maturing of a woman who has continued to grow is a beautiful thing to behold. Or, if your ad revenue or your seven-figure salary or your privileged sexual status depend on it, it is an operable condition.” —Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth, 1990

23. "I find my emotions are way more accessible than they were when I was younger and I've come to feel it has to do with age. I have become so wonderfully, terribly aware of time, of how little of it I have left; how much of it is behind me, and everything becomes so precious. With age, I am able to appreciate the beauty in small things more than when I was younger perhaps because I pay attention more. I feel myself becoming part of everything, as if I bleed into other people's joy and pain." —Jane Fonda, on her blog, February 2014

24. “You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping.” —Cindy Crawford, Huffington Post, February 2013

25. “I am still every age that I have been. Because I was once a child, I am always a child. Because I was once a searching adolescent, given to moods and ecstasies, these are still part of me, and always will be ... Far too many people misunderstand what ‘putting away childish things’ means, and think that forgetting what it is like to think and feel and touch and smell and taste and see and hear like a three-year-old or a thirteen-year-old or a twenty-three-year-old means being grownup. When I'm with these people I, like the kids, feel that if this is what it means to be a grown-up, then I don't ever want to be one. Instead of which, if I can retain a child's awareness and joy, and *be* fifty-one, then I will really learn what it means to be grownup.”—Madeleine L’Engle, A Circle of Quiet, 1971


Number 20 made me laugh out loud. Had I been drinking milk, I woulda snorted it outta my nose! Here's a LINK to the actual article.

Hope you have the best day!
Love,
Shan


 
 

Who Are You?

Happy Halloween, all Hallows Eve, and welcome to the end of October. Been a lot of soul searching going on the past few months. Clearing out the old, restructuring and making way for the new. Being open to change and asking that age old question: "Who am I?"

When you ask yourself, "Who am I," do you always get an answer you like? Do you always get an answer. I understand that the answer can change or there can be many. How do we sort out the labels from the truth? And can we ever really know who we are? It's kind of an interesting question to ask on a day like today when so many people are donning masks and running around pretending to be someone else. 

But how many of us have strapped on a metaphorical mask attached to some label we've given ourselves and thought that to be who we were until waking up one day and discovering that perhaps it's not who we really want to be? Or that we've outgrown that identity and want to be something else? Or maybe we've lost sight of who it is we wanted to be and got tangled up in the weeds of the struggle and became someone else entirely?

I remember when I was teaching yoga. I loved the practice. I loved the lifestyle. I loved being a teacher. When I seriously injured my neck and could no longer practice, never mind teach, I had a wee identity crisis. People would come to me with questions about yoga or their practice and I didn't know how to respond. Instead of coming from the heart, I used my head and simply redirected them to someone else, I was no longer a "Yogini". It took years for me to realize that one can practice yoga without ever stepping foot upon an asana mat. We practice through quieting our minds, or selfless service, or devotion, the paths are many, it's the label that gets things muddled up.

As I flipped the calendar from October to November, I wondered what I could choose for this month's virtue. I've really enjoyed working on having "good-timing" in October and in fact hope I can continue to be aware of those moments when my timing is exceptional. I'd like to stick with working on things that improve the quality of my life and the lives of those around me, rather than sticking to a more traditional virtue (like patience) for the sake of having something to work on. This is not static work, nor is it arbitrary. 

Asking: "Who am I?" and clearing space and making time for silence so that the answers can come is all part of this process. So when I flipped the calendar and saw this...

 
I had my answer. Sort of. This coming month, I'd like to work on fully embodying who I am, whoever that is. How can we parlay that into a virtue? What would that be called? I began to think of all the people that I loved and admired, one at a time, asking myself: "What do these people have in common?"

They are all truly who they are, they seem to know themselves even when they grow and change they somehow manage to stay the same. They're authentic. That was the answer. Authenticity. In any and all situations, be yourself. Weather meeting the Queen of England, giving a dollar to a homeless guy, walking in to pitch the head of a TV network, tickling a baby, petting a dog, or taking a class with Tracy Anderson... be yourself. 

But we can only do that by asking the question... "Who am I?" "Who are you?"

I look forward to knowing you and to taking this journey of self-discovery with you this month should you choose to join me!

Big hugs.
Shan

Face it.

Remember the quote I shared from the book - How to be Parisian Wherever You Are? Once you reach a certain stage in life "You have the face that you deserve." 

Turns out it was a Coco Chanel quote. I just love it. 

When I was a kid and behaving poorly or pouting about something you could always see it on my face. My mom would warn: "Be careful, the wind might change and your face will stay that way." I suppose she was really saying the same thing that Coco Chanel was saying. You'll eventually get the face that you deserve.

On that note, I want to share another great weekend quote with you... Especially if you're maybe feeling, shall we say, less than youthful...

"Enjoy the face you have today. It's the one you'll wish you have ten years from now."

 
Ain't that some truth right there.

Hope yours was a fabulous weekend.
xo
Shan

The Purge Continues

Good morning my pretties,

I have no idea where this post is going to go today so lemme suggest that you strap in, it might be a bumpy ride.

You know, one of the amazing things about making laps around the sun (or collecting birthdays if you prefer) is the fact that you get to have experiences. You can make choices and if you find you're unhappy or things are not quite working out, or you're just tired and bored, you're free to reinvent yourself. Just look at Madonna... Don't cry for her Argentina!

When I was twenty-four, I was working on a cruise ship where I met a woman who was then, just a year older than I am now and I couldn't believe some of the shit she'd done in her short life. 

Hey, how come when I was 24 I thought she was young, but now I'm nearly her age I feel old? That is bang out of order and a massive note to self! Forties are still cool baby! But I digress.

She was a hair stylist. Maybe that doesn't sound all that glamorous, but she was running a spa on a ship so... She'd opened a salon in Pakistan and had been developing her own line of hair care while there, but had to escape under the cover of night with nothing but her young daughter and the clothes on their backs! She'd been married four times, lived in Illinois, Florida, Colorado, California, the above mentioned Pakistan, she'd taken care of her sister as her sister died of aids, she'd broken her neck while skydiving (no kidding!), learned to fly a helicopter, the list goes on. I mean to tell you that there was nothing this woman was afraid of. She'd gotten a scary health diagnosis at the age of 33 and was determined to live the fullest life she could. She was a survivor and a fighter and a chameleon and my best friend. She died on a Superbowl Sunday when she was 55. Trust Jax to cross-over on a big and unforgettable kind of day, but not the kind of day that would ruin you forever like Christmas or Valentine's Day. She was just that awesome.

Wow, talking about her and remembering her kinda makes the rest of what I wanted to write about today feel rather insignificant. You can totally feel free to stop reading here and just take away the message to live the life you've been given if you like. 

Or keep reading because I'd like to talk about reinvention or better still, rejuvenation.

Both seem to be the themes of late. Shrugging out of the old scratchy life that no longer fits and trying to find a comfy cozy one that does. I am attempting to step up and define what it is I want career-wise. Not to 'redefine' myself exactly, but finally make the transition between the emerging (read: struggling) artist and the professional working writer. 

Let's be honest, I'd like to get paid for it, people! 

For one reason or another, I thought the answer to the question or the solution to the problem might lie behind the doors of my closent. I began rummaging around in there and realized that I was basically still dressing like the newbie writer. Still more or less dressing like a college student. I mean come on, for years the only store I shopped at was American Eagle Outfitters.

I'll admit, denim, hoodies and beach hair still really appeal to me. I'll never be able to fully give that up. But if I want to be taken seriously, perhaps I should be looking more toward the classic beauties that I admire and want to be like. Yeah, yeah, I know... Lena Dunham and Diablo Cody were in my last post and as mentioned... both get or have gotten naked professionally... SO NOT what I'm talking about.

I adore the timeless style and beauty of Audrey Hepburn, Lauren Hutton, the young but stunning Emma Watson, and of course my fave, Norma Kamali.

Oh look! There she is with Tracy Anderson, my other favorite lady. (Norma's the one in the gorgeous cateye glasses and fabulous shoes!) 

I started pulling out sweatshirts and old jeans, T-shirt after T-shirt, and track pants.

I needed to do something. So I came up with a modest budget and I hit the street. More to the point, I hit H&M, because lets face it, the street around here is Robson and it can get a lil expensive. I had chosen some classic looking pieces online before going so I wouldn't get distracted and I set out to polish up my personal style.

My sister would have been so proud of me, I found sweaters for $7, $10 AND $14, Leggings for $11. I'm not suggesting that these things are going to last forever, but they will help to transition me as I go into meetings and try to behave like a big girl and get a big girl job. I got one more item than I'd planned and came in UNDER budget! H&M I heart you. You're my new best store.

I brought my bag of goodies home and needed to make room. I dug further into my closet and drawers and began building a pile. He Who Shall Not Be Named walked in during this process and offered to help. He felt confident that he'd be able to help me rid myself of outdated attachments. So I took him up on the offer, until he began going through the discard pile saying things like: "You can't get rid of this Brazil T-shirt, you wore that in your film school video, or I remember you in this from when we were in Cuba, you're not giving that away are you?" He was banished shortly thereafter.

One bag in and five bags out! I took shoes, sneakers, hats, bags and clothing to the donation box in the pouring rain. It was like a poetic scene from a movie! 

Oh, do you remember the scene in Breakfast at Tiffany's where Holly Golightly is out in the pouring rain desperately searching the al for Cat? 

It was like that, but with less tears and less hugging. Okay it wasn't like that at all, but I got that soaked and now I have room in my drawers and closet for my new things.

It was my call to the universe saying: "I'm ready!" 

And I finally feel it. Deep in my bones. I was always plagued with feelings of less-than and not experienced enough. I'm officially letting that go. While I know there are plenty of writers whose talents far exceed my own, I have some experience and a thimble full of talent. I've put in the time. I've kept my nose to the grindstone and it's starting to pay off.  I've made the film, won the award, written the new series... bring it on. 

With laps around the sun comes skill, practical knowledge, experience and a measure of confidence. Confidence not the bravado that can sometimes come with the foolhardiness of youth. I am confident that I can do the job I've set out to do and I am taking the steps... one at a time... toward it.

That journey toward the life you've always imagined begins with a single step, or a trip to H&M, or an overhaul of the closet. What have you always dreamed of doing? Or being? Or having? Is there a way for you to more fully embody that desire? Can you look the part? Isn't there a saying? Fake it till you make it? Well alright then! We got this.

xo
Shan

Lena Dunham's Book -- Not That Kind of Girl

Hey, happy Saturday lovelies. Whatcha doing this weekend? Going to the movies? Hitting the gym? Hanging out in your PJ's reading a good book? I've just read an unusual book by the creator of the HBO hit series GIRLS, Lena Dunham. Her book's called Not That Kind of Girl, a Young Woman Tells You What She's "Learned".

I was super curious to read it because Lena, (I hope she doesn't mind me calling her Lena) has created, writes on, acts in, and runs her own show. I want to be her! Except the part about acting and getting naked, I don't really want to do that. 

Actually, I'd always said that I wanted to be Diablo Cody, Oscar-winning-writer of the fab film JUNO. And she started out as a stripper. Yikes. I hope there's not some subconscious fetish happening here. Could nudity and short hair be in my future??

Or!! Or maybe if I cut my hair and take my clothes off in some kind of public forum I'll finally find the success I so deeply desire?!? Nah, think I'll keep my tresses and my trousers... for now. Anyway this isn't about me, it's about the book. If you're looking for a proper review, you might want to look elsewhere. Plenty of critics have given their two-cents. I want to talk about my experience and impressions of Not That Kind of Girl.

I had hoped that by reading the book, I might gain some insight into Lena Dunham's success, I might uncover some secret or trick that would be an "aha" moment, or that I'd find the next Nora Ephron. Okay first of all, Nora is simply one of a kind and totally irreplaceable, but if I ever get to have breakfast with Lena I am going to live vicariously through her but sucking out every last one of her favorite and best Nora Ephron stories. Let that be a warning to you Lena!

But here's the thing about expectations. In any situation, the higher your expectation, the greater your chance of disappointment. However, if you leave a little wriggle room you might also make way for surprise, delight, humor, and plain old silly fun. So while on the one hand, I don't feel like I uncovered the secret to success or even that I know the writer any more or better than I did before reading the book - (she can be surprisingly forthcoming while not sharing a damned thing!) - I felt my affections for her grow in spite of feeling confused by her. I get that I'm not her target audience and we couldn't possibly be more different. She grew up in New York, child of wealthy artists, the New York Times did a story on her when she was a teenager, so she's no stranger to the spotlight, she's well educated and lots younger. I'm a mixed background kid from the freezing cold prairies of Saskatchewan who never even had cable much less went to an art opening or fancy college. 

At the start of the book, I was like, I don't get it. If she hates herself so much, how is it that she's able to put herself out there like that? When I've had bouts of self-hatred I couldn't get out of bed. I stopped trying to understand her and decided instead to just go with it. Just read it for the pleasure of reading. This was no ordinary memoir. It isn't the story of her life thus far. The book is a collection of essays that hold memories, observations, and feelings about various subjects that most girls and women think about -- sex, diet, self-discovery, growing up. I decided it was like taking a sordid sneak peek into the diary of a teenager and I went with it. That's when I really began to rather enjoy it.

She made me laugh, especially in section II of the book - BODY.

She writes: "When I was born I was very fat for a baby - eleven pounds (which sounds thin to me now). I had three chins and a stomach that drooped to one side of my stroller. I never crawled, just rolled, an early sign that I was going to be resistant to most exercise and any sexual position that didn't allow me to relax on my back."

Much of the book felt like an extension of the show but that's okay because I have a theory. This is complete and total conjecture on my part, but I believe that she wrote the book for two simple reasons, both of which make her even more smart and clever than I already knew she was! The first reason of course is the huge advance. Who the hell could say no to 3.5 million? I could retire on that. Imagine it. I could just take all the essays (blog posts) written in my blog Mastering The Method and roll them into a book, get 3.5 mill and set sail for Tahiti where I'd never be heard from again! Ah, bliss.

And two? She had something very real to say! Something very real and incredibly important that needed to be addressed and brought into the light for all the women and underlings in Hollywood who have ever been taken advantage of, shit on, made to feel less than, used, abused, objectified and morally and mentally raped! (my words of course not hers). And she managed to say it beautifully, much bolder and brassier than I ever could have between pages 197 and 202. If you never buy the book or have no desire to read it, at least pick it up and read those pages.

She couldn't have gotten away with writing a whole book about it (not yet, but just you wait until she's 80 boy, then she's gonna let em have it!) because the critics would have eaten her alive and she'd probably never work again, but it was fair warning to the scoundrels. She's saying - baby, I've got your number. Some day I'm gonna be kicking ass and taking names but until then, I'll just laugh all the way to the bank.

She buried this little gem in cutesie camp stories and sexual misadventures so that those not looking too closely could just write her off, saying "oh it's more of the same," and they'd not notice how sharp and cool, how witty and intelligent she really is. So "they" wouldn't feel truly threatened. And she pulled it off with flying colors. You go girl!

xo
Shan

Canadian Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to those of you in Canada and abroad who celebrate. I know Americans hold off until November, but up North we figure, why wait? It's getting cold out so bring on the festive season!

It's typically a time of getting together with friends and family around a harvest table to give thanks for our many blessings and to celebrate the abundance of the season. We eat, we drink, we feel stuffed and then the guilt comes on. The trouser button gets undone, the pepto bismol gets uncorked, and for two or three months, we promise that we'll do better at the next party or next occasion.

I have a sugar addiction. A serious one. It's no secret. Other artists drink spirits or inject chemicals or sniff powders, I do none of the above. But offer to hook me up intravenously to a bag of chocolate and I'm in. I thought I had finally conquered this demon, but stepping onto the scale recently I came to the rude awakening that I have been in denial!

My sister's birthday is October 24th. But it is also a very significant day for me because sixteen years ago on her birthday I quit smoking. I thought perhaps I could gain some significant strength from the date and came up with a plan to give up sugar again. Once and for all this time, on her birthday this year. The plan was that I was going to take the next two weeks and hit all my favorite shops and restaurants to indulge in each and every one of my favorite sweets and desserts, saying a heartfelt goodbye to each one. Then I thought I could photograph the various delights and talk about my love and longing and blah blah blah! 

Really? Kill me now for being so sorry and pathetic. Omigod I think there is a far better use of my time and resources than a sugar pity party. I had had a lot of sugar yesterday and by last night I felt absolutely horrible. Head-ache, bloated, irritable. Gross. I was like that guy in the Monty Python sketch...

Wafer-thin mint, sir? Ugh, not another bite. I had to ask myself: "What the hell are you waiting for?" It's an addiction, there is always a reason, always an excuse, but none of them are good ones. I needed to quit and I needed to do it now. But having been down this particular steep and pot-hole ridden road before and failing so miserably, what is a girl to do? Sadly, there is no magic potion, no magic bullet or quick fix.

Like ripping off a band-aid. You've got to just do it. Plain and simple. No mess, no fuss. Simply quit. Full stop. That's how I gave up the smokes. It took a few tries but here I am smoke-free sixteen years later so...

I got to thinking about this exercise (game) I play when I am struggling with a problem. At the top of a clean sheet of paper I'll write: This is the condition I am currently struggling with.

I'll list the issue. 

Then below it I'll write: If this condition were to resolve itself right now, I would feel...

And write down all the feelings that might come with the resolution of the problem. So why not try this with my sugar addiction? Instead of thinking about all the types of sweets I love and will inevitably miss, or all the reasons it's hard to give them up, what might happen if I focused on how I'd feel if I suddenly wasn't addicted to sugar anymore?

It would look something like this:
This is the condition I am currently faced with.
I cannot control myself around sugar. It creates a hole that cannot be filled and I eat and eat and eat until I can literally make myself sick.

If this condition were to resolve itself right now I would feel:
Healthy, liberated, clear-minded, free, at ease, awake, slim, in control, happy, off the hook, unchained, well, uplifted and so on. 

I went on to fill a whole page, repeating the words of feelings that felt the most empowered or the strongest so that by the time I was done writing I actually started to believe that giving up sugar was a really good idea. That I could do it. Why not? I'd done it before and can still remember how great I felt. Not only is this possible I'm doing it and I am happy to be doing it.

So on this Thanksgiving weekend, a time of indulgence and feasting, allow me to introduce myself to you.

Hello, my name is Shannon and I am a choc-o-holic. I have one day!

Happy holidays everyone. I hope your weekend is filled with hope, happiness and good health.

xo
Shan

Shake it up 'yo!

Hey y'all, this is a recipe post!

A real recipe not one for dog food I promise, and it's even kind of diety. I'd like to preface this by saying that I am not a food blogger. Nor am I a foody. I like to leave that stuff to the pro's - Oh Basmati Lime how I dream of your cooking and Spontaneous Foodgasm where ya been girl? Missing you. (I know, huge move, renovations etc. Some of us live vicariously you know!)

In any case, on occasion a recipe will catch my eye or I'll make something up that becomes part of my regular (read: easy) food rotation when it's my night to cook. Yeah, we do that in my house. My night, his night, my night, we eat out, grab take away, we order pizza, ugh, it can go down hill very quickly. So in the interest of staying on top of my game, I've been looking for some healthy easy recipes that will make leftovers for lunch the next day or stored up for when my night comes back around.

And I stumbled across this recipe for Crunchy Thai Salad. Don't worry, it's more than a salad. Have you ever wondered who the heck would ever buy a salad cookbook? I mean come on. It's lettuce. Add any vegetable you choose and top with some kind of dressing. It's not rocket science and I'm not about to stand squinting over a book reading instructions. And yet...

Ha ha here we are. This technically has cooked ingredients so it's not a 'typical' salad in my books. Now I don't know if you've been seeing this, but since last year, Mason jars seem to be making a come back in a big way, used as everything from stemmed wine glasses (they're called red neck wine glasses, I kid you not, my sister bought them for me) to tea mugs, shot glasses, to smoothie jars with straws coming out of the top. Well now it seems, Mason Jar salads are like the new fast food. Yes people, you heard it here first. 

Check it out.

I made those. Yeah I did! Usually I just rip the picture off from where ever I found the recipe, but this was from a magazine and well quite frankly a photo of a photo looks kinda tacky.

You can totally make these, trust me, the hardest part of this recipe is actually getting the stuff into the small opening of the jar, other than that, you're golden.

So here it is. Enjoy.

Crunchy Thai Mason Jar Salad

You'll need 4 glass jars with lids.

Ingredients
1 cup black rice rinsed
2 cups frozen shelled edamame beans
4 large carrots peels and diced
6-8 radishes trimmed and sliced
4 cups chopped red cabbage
1 large red bell pepper seeded and diced
6 scallions, sliced thinly (light green parts)

Dressing
6 tbsp coconut milk
1/4 cup packed fresh cilantro leaves
2 tbsp natural unsalted peanut butter
2 tbsp fresh lime juice
1 tbsp grated fresh ginger
1tbsp reduced sodium soy sauce
1 tbsp rice vinegar
1 tbsp raw honey
1 tsp toasted sesame oil

Okay so I have to make a small amendment here. I do not happen to have natural peanut butter, coconut milk, rice vinegar, raw honey or sesame oil kicking around my humble kitchen (Did you read the part about not being a foodie? I don't even have ketchup for crying out loud, lucky to have salt and pepper!! Okay I'm done now.) 

So I bought a nice sort of similar style dressing. I think I'll live.

 



























Also, I'd never made black rice before so I picked up this Lotus Foods one so I'd have directions. Honestly, I have no business posting food stuff really, but I digress.

Here's how you make it.

Directions
1) Cook the rice.
Spread cooked rice in an even layer on a plate to cool thoroughly. OR, you can do it like I did and cook it in the morning, then stick it in the fridge until the evening when you're ready to make the meal.

2) Meanwhile, cook the edamame, drain, rinse in cold water and set aside to also cool. Refer to my fridge note above 'kay.

3) For the dressing if you're making it:
In a small blender or food processor, blend all dressing ingredients until smooth.

4) Divide dressing among the jars. Because I used store bought, I guesstimated that I'd need about a 1/4 cup each. Sounds like a lot but it has a lot to cover. You can use your best judgement.
Then layer the rest of the ingredients in the following order;
carrots, radishes, cabbage, edamame, bell pepper, scallions, and rice.

NOTE: they said there would be a bit of space at the top which will allow you to shake up the ingredients with the dressing when you're ready to eat. Mine didn't really have space, but again, I just used the jars I had and I might have over done the cabbage??
In any case, screw the lids on tight and you can refrigerate these babies for up to 5 days. Cool, huh? 

When you're ready to serve, shake it up and dump it into a bowl and enjoy!

Here's the nutritional info per jar
435 calories
15 g of fat
68 g Carbohydrates
12 g fibre
17 g sugar
16 g protein
226 mg Sodium

That's it. Easy peasey, lemon squeezey.

I might top mine with a tiny bit of avocado and a few sunflower sprouts upon serving. 

Bon appetite!
Shan