Daring Greatly.

Just a quick post today lovelies. Or maybe not, you know I can waffle on.

In any case, in the days leading up to my birthday I was conscious of a shift taking place within. I was tired of being afraid, of hiding. You know I can really let it all hang out when I talk about feeling fat or old and my struggles to keep up with a good diet, but when it comes to my writing? That's another story.

Sure yes, I share my writing by virtue of the fact that I write a blog. But my work, my creations, my figurative babies, those I can be more precious with.

So I knew I wanted to make a change, in fact was driven by a desire to live differently in this next year, next phase of my life. The things I have been doing haven't been working as well as I'd like. Sure I've tried, I've put myself out there, I've knocked on doors that were often closed to the likes of me... but I couldn't help but wonder if there was something different that I could be doing. Like inside of me, you know what I mean? A reframe or shift in perspective. The sage and insightful author Eckhart Tolle says "The world can only change from within." Truth, my brother!

The answer was yes. I could peel back the layers, smash down the protective walls and really expose myself. I took the first step toward that exposure by sharing my short story, The Hidden Arrow with you.

I'm still not convinced it was a good idea and feels like one of the most terrifying things I've done to date, but it didn't kill me. And truly, I feel stronger for it.

But in the lead up to that, my girl Myla - kindred spirit, fellow July baby and interweb soul-sister shared her latest passion. A research goddess named Brene Brown (Brene sounds like Rene). When she mentioned that she was a researcher, I think I might have yawned. And the hilarious thing is that in the first intro I had to Brene, she opened her talk with a story about a woman who was trying to figure out how to introduce her and didn't want to say she was a researcher because people might be turned off by that. Wow, who knew I was so text-book. Anyway - I finally had an opportunity to check her out on YouTube and listen to her TED talk. Okay come on, if I lost you at researcher, I must have won you back by TED talk, no?

She talked about her research into why some people feel worthy and others don't and what's the difference in how they think. Pretty cool stuff. For me, as a writer, I always feel like I'm not good enough. In fact come to think about it, when it comes to practicing the Tracy Anderson Method, I feel like a perpetual remedial student because I never get it right and feel like a big clumsy oaf. But I digress. I have met many writers who do think they're good enough, in fact many of them see themselves as even better than most (when it comes to writing. These are my friends I'm talking about here) And the ones who think they are better... are the more successful ones. They get stuff made, they get into writing rooms, they are always working. But that doesn't mean that they didn't feel sick to their stomachs when they had to walk into a room to pitch their material, it just means they had the guts to do it and felt like they had a right to be there.

So... my point.

Myla mentioned Brene Brown and I watched her talk and it was very cool.
You should watch it HERE.

This picture sums up the message of that talk in a nutshell.

 

But what's more, she did a second talk about shame that really rocked my world. It hit me in my heart center and made me go - that's me! I feel shame! Lots of it. It comes from a variety of factors, the big one being that I come from a multi-racial background. For a whole host of reasons, too many to go into within the scope of this blog - I was never sure who I was. Too white to be Native, too Native to be white, shunned on both sides, a mongrel not good enough to ever amount to anything. Okay that was a whole lot more than I intended to share, but I guess that's the theme of this new year. Be brave enough to be vulnerable. Really put yourself out there.

What I am really writing today to say to you, is please take a break. Go to youtube and check her out. Then watch her other stuff - the talk about shame really might change your outlook. At the very least it will let you know that you are not alone. Here's the link for that one.

LISTENING TO SHAME 

The top one came first, so it's fun to watch it first before Listening to Shame because you can see her evolution. She is hilarious by the way, don't be fooled by the subject matter.
 
Thanks for sharing, Myla. Dr. Brown is amazing!

xo
Shan