Thursday, January 1, 2015

365 NEW Blank Pages!

Happy New Year my beauties!

I got a message from a lovely dear friend this morning and in it she said: "365 New Blank Pages." I love that. Thanks for the inspiration Amanda! Something else that I read recently that I've been sharing with some of my beloveds was this doozy: "The new year means nothin' if you're still in love with your comfort zone."

So... we've got 365 brand spanking new days to play with, days of clay to get our fingers into and really mold and sculpt. What are we going to make? It's a nice round year 2015, don't you think? I like fives and tens for some weird reason, so I want to make this year count. Yeah yeah, I have the same goals as always, career stuff and health of course, I am always seeming to need to lose five or ten pounds. Hmmm, there's that five and ten again.

But this year I'd like to get out of that comfort zone a little. Ask for more of what I want. Be a little more confident. And to feel good. I want to reach for relief whenever I feel icky or slightly unsettled. I want to choose love over fear, not always the easiest choice is it? I want to try new things and maybe do one or two things that scare me a little.

I've started taking these online fitness classes with Tracy Anderson and that scared me. Once I finally enrolled, I thought okay, steady on, Shan, you got this. It sorta went like this:

1:05, Hey we're dancing. This is fun.
3:07, Still dancing, but I'm gonna be okay... I think.
6:58, My god! She's adding weights.
9:02, Fuck! I'm gonna die.

It was scary because it was more intense than anything I'd done before. Rug burn? Check. Bruised elbows and knees? Check. Aching wrists? Check. Wounded ego? NO WAY. I have never felt stronger or more empowered, slightly less coordinated than ever perhaps, but confident in the strength and ability of my own body.

At my age, I sometimes look around and just think, damn I'm old. And frankly ladies, getting old kinda sucks. I've even caught myself groaning as I climb to me feet on occasion. It happens. We all age, but we can remain strong. Not just in body either. I think the majority of strength comes from our minds and hearts. Which is why it's also very important for us to focus on feeling good this year. Starting today.

Find something, anything that makes you smile. A bird outside your window. The freshly fallen snow. The scent of your favorite fragrance or freshly baked bread. Something small, it can be anything that makes you feel good when you think about it. Something that's "wobble free" as Abraham puts it. Let your thoughts go there as often as you can.

Resolutions? I guess those are mine. Get out of my square, choose to feel good, or reach for feeling better if I'm feeling bad, and ask for more of what I want. So of course all of this is translated into my virtue for the month of January. Again, not a typical "patience or kindness" kind of virtue, but rather something that will help me grow and evolve in the direction I want to find myself. So for January?

SEIZE THE DAY! We only get this one day, the here and now. C'mon everybody, let's have fun this year. Let's feel good, do good and be good.

All my very best to you and yours, for health, happiness, love, and a shower of blessings that are beyond your fondest imaginings!



  1. Oh I was laughing so hard reading this post!!! You just described me all over doing the Master Class. I wanted to send you a picture of my burned elbows this morning... but as I looked at the picture I thought I better spare you and Janice the awful sight... And this Fuck I'm going to die for me runs from 9:02 to 53:16... And I don't even put all the weights on... I have the 1,5 but I'm not putting anymore.... At one point this morning I was telling myself... Natalia, this is too advanced for you...but I'm glad I brushed the thought away because I felt amazing afterwards.
    I'm really glad about this month's virtue because as I was talking to my husband about our New Year Resolution, first and foremost is that I'm going to workout as if it was my job, eat healthier of course, but the one that's been bugging me for days is that I want to stop pushing cores away, specially those cores that I hate doing like paperwork, I'm not talking about housework here, it's just the tasks that I feel so uncomfortable with that I tend to push away... That uncomfortable email, that phone call, that paperwork, the visits to the bank... All that.. And since I am now feeling like the girl in the picture in this post, I better start right now...

    1. It can really feel like that, like we're in over our heads, but I don't even care, I'm having so much fun! I love your resolutions! Go get 'em girl.

  2. Great post Shan, and its nice to hear Natalias input as well!
    If I'm honest - and as you know, I am finding the whole Instagram competition part of this 30 challenge, more challenging than the workouts….. err what the hell Sophie… one is sweating your ass off, and the other is taking photos on your phone… well yes thats true, but the reason I stay away from social media is that it makes me feel like the odd girl at school, and I swiftly drift in the direction of comparing to others.
    So… from right now, I am going to focus on using the photo stream thing simply as an incentive tool - keeping me accountable.
    Knowing that you and Natalia are out there plugging through it is a HUGE draw as well - lets really do it this month, won't it be great to get to the 1st of Feb with this under our belt?!!!


    1. Yes Sophie!!! I'm actually really struggling with the pictures too, because I'm the kind of girl who loves photography but has to take a thousand photos for one to be decent!!! It is a HUGE draw and we'll make it... it will be sore, our elbows will be burnt, our faces red at the end of a workout but who knows one of us might win something and even if we don't we will realize that we had a great time trying....

    2. Let's don't think of it as a contest or a COMPETITION, ladies. Lets look at is as a way of connecting to other TAMMERS through images. I'm finding looking at the TAREALTIME hashtag so inspiring. Lets move from that place of inspiration and add our own light to it. Then the single candle can grow into a huge bonfire! We so won't regret it come Feb 1st Sophie!
      I think we're all winners just for showing up Natalia. I sincerely mean that.

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    4. Whoops! As I wanted to say: Shan you're an inspiration! I tend to be a negative, person. I was raised by negative, bitter people & I fight that everyday.
      So how are you so awesome?
      I think that Instagram contest has the potential to get ugly.

    5. Gia, you don't seem negative to me at all. You're a lovely shining light! I don't think the contest will get ugly. So far it's really great people connecting around our common suffering ha ha. I mean that as a joke. We're having fun with it - people seem to be supporting each other on the page and I find that if I feel like not doing the workout - I just check out the sweat and smiling faces that show up there and I'm ready to go.
      Perhaps some are ultra serious - but I think you have a choice on what you want to take away from it and from this life generally.
      Being raised by bitter people is a real blessing because you can see it and you can choose to be your own person rather than just falling into that behavior. You are separate from it. Conflict and contrast really help to reflect back to us what it is that we want and it reminds us to go after it.
      Big hugs.

    6. Thank you, I try! I read something interesting today when old patterns ir neg thoughts creep in ask, " What is the fruit of that thought? What does it produce?" Then work through it and replace the faulty thinking.

      I've been doing TA for almost 4 yrs & I get angry at myself for not looking like the TA "ideal". So then I think maybe I need to do x instead then I start spinning.
      Then I get obsessed with everything that goes in my mouth, getting my workout in takes precedence over everything.
      I'm not sure if that's really healthy? Is it so important to be a hot-momma 40+? What does that serve? What does giving in to that serve?

      So I'm trying to work on changing that focus. To be my authentic self. To just get in there and have fun & do it for my health.

      Though I often think those body obsessed thoughts are masking " What do I really want'" "Who am I Really?"

    7. Gia,
      These are some really great questions, ones I've been asking myself for a while now too! Exactly the same - if you get that banging body, what do you plan to do with it? Same thing as with my ordinary body, so why all the drama then? I swear I do need to feed my body better nutrition - I could live on brownies and ice cream and be quite happy, but my body needs more. But in terms of this particular live stream workout - there is something very different going on. For one thing it's way over my head so I am just trying to keep up the best I can, but the biggest difference is that it's FUN! I'm doing this, killing myself quite literally because I am getting a laugh. It was never like that with Meta or continuity. I did it because it worked and I could enjoying most days. But Live is a good time. I have put away my scale. I don't care about the number right now.
      And I continue to ask - what do I want? What do I need?
      And I am going to add to it what you shared - what is the fruit of my thought, especially if it is negative.

      We are growing into maturity - we are changing and seeing the world though a new lens. It's fascinating. Let's keep asking the questions!