Sticking with it...

Hello beauties,

Thanks again for your support, wisdom and kind words on my last post about transitioning to silver hair. It's been a fascinating journey to be sure and far from over. There were so many times during the past few months - but this last month especially - that I wanted to run screaming to my stylist and shout "make it stop!" I hate my hair. Hate these grey roots. I feel ugly. I feel old. This is stupid.

I continue to read stories of liberation, self-love and healthy locks on IG and I simply don't share that experience. It hasn't felt wonderful or liberating or great. I've googled and YouTubed and Pinterested myself into a frenzy of back and forth - Keep it, color it, keep it, color it. Not even one day to the next, but quite literally minute to minute. This transition was making me so crazy one dear friend suggested that it seemed to be an energy drain and that perhaps now simply wasn't the right time.

I agreed, yes now is the wrong time. Maybe I can try again in another ten years or so, but the very idea of going back to the dye bottle bi-monthly absolutely made my skin crawl.

One tiny bonus of this process is that I have little hairs beginning to grow back where my hair has been thinning for years. It's not major, I'll likely never go back to the glorious thick mane I had in my 20's, but it's still promising. Not to mention the fact that I'm no longer responsible for washing all those nasty chemicals down the drain. One noble reader pointed that out to me and it was an aha moment for real. As an animal advocate and environmental steward I hated the idea that I was using a product that you just know had to be tested on animals at some point, or that was polluting our water supply each time it washed down the sink.

So for those reasons and more, here I am. I'm four months in, I'm armed with a few new role models and quite honestly I feel like I'm part of a rebellion of sorts, and I still have silver roots.

It's going to take much longer than I'd ever imagined. I mean in the back of my head I'd always assumed it would be around 3 ish years, but to get the style and length I'm after it'll likely be closer to 4-5 years. My god that's a long time. On the other hand, on the shy side it's 48 months, because my hair is so dark and roots show so quickly, I was coloring every two weeks which means that's 96 boxes of dye that I don't need to buy. At a minimum of an hour to prep, color and rinse, that's 4 days of my life I've spared from coloring. Cool, huh?

And hopefully, one day, I'll eventually look in the mirror, see that silver next to my face and it will look normal and like me. At the moment it still doesn't but that's okay. Maybe I'm getting to know a new me.

One thing I did do, and would highly recommend if you're trying to grow out your grey hair and are struggling - I got a precision cut. I'm going to ditch the layers and go for more of an "all one length" style. I also had my stylist tone out the brassy summer sun from the ends and somehow, it's made my hair look more uniform which is shocking considering the drastic difference between light and dark. But I'm more settled in my decision now.

I feel like I may almost be able to forget about it for a while which would be a welcome relief. And on those rotten days when I look in the mirror and don't love my reflection, there's always a good hat to be worn.

This process isn't easy (for me) but I'm counting on it being worth it in the end.

Big hugs,

Shan