Now take a walk with me if you will, back through the past eight months. Yes that's right, we're in the home stretch, the big push, the final countdown of 2016 so this feels like a good time to take stock. Yeah yeah I know that most of you would prefer to do this on December 31st but not me. I wanna do it now. As mentioned in my previous post I've had the snot, the stuffing, the begeezus kicked out of me and I'm still standing, a little worse for wear sure, but hopefully a little bit wiser.
I've learned that "efforting" gets you nowhere. Yes it's a thing! I'm not saying that you shouldn't make an effort. Go after your dreams, pursue your goals, strive for something greater yada yada yada, but all that pushing can lead to a whole lot of stress and not always a lot of reward.
Now I for one have chosen one of the dumbest professions in the world and when I say dumbest I mean it's so hard to break into and make a living that you'd have to be a dumb dumb to do it. And I am. But the thing is, this past year (oh fuck who am I kidding, this past decade) I've done nothing but press and push and keep the pedal to the metal, strive for achievement that I'd lost sight of why I began to write in the first place. I've even pushed my health to the brink, but that's a story for another day. I had to stop and reexamine my motivation and I can promise you that I didn't become a writer to "try and get noticed" or "land that big TV gig" but that's what I'd become! Gag, it was/is exhausting. I just want to sit in my room and make shit up!
So as I really stop to think things through, Mercury Retrograde couldn't come at a better time for me. I just want to take a breather. I want to have some fun. I want to let go, let loose and stop all this efforting!
Don't get me wrong, starting next week I will become busier than a bee in a hive but that doesn't mean I have to squeeze the life out of myself to get it all done. Rather it's my new belief that I can ease and flow my way through. Find my groove, be myself, use my voice and create with an air of freedom and fun. This is a new concept for me so lets see if I can pull it off.
Who's with me? You up for going with the flow for a lil bit? Ready to let go, to surrender to something bigger than us? It's like Marianne Williamson says: The bud knows how to become a flower, the embryo knows how to become a baby, the acorn just grows into the oak tree, if we let go and slip into the stream of life's buoyant energy we are sure to become whatever it was that we were designed to be.
So that's it, noble reader, the virtue for the month of September is SURRENDER. No more "efforting". Told you it was a thing.
Stay cool.
xoxo
Shan
Ok, second time lucky...
ReplyDeleteWhen I read this wonderful, insightful,post last night, I was itching to respond, as so much of what you have written here resonates with me very deeply at the moment.
The basic truth is (in my Umble opinion) that we as humans do not learn in a linear pattern, even though the linear way is what forms the backbone to 99% of the education system as we know it.
No, to learn is a journey, which includes so many bends, twists, ups and downs, that by the time we reach the 'ah hah' moment we barely recognise the place we started.
So much of how we are taught in schools, colleges, and universities is about highlighting the end goal - the pass, the grade, the diploma.. When really, the juice of the journey lies in the very act of learning itself.
We graduate from childhood - be it formally educated or not, with the belief that to make a mistake = failiure, when in truth, mistakes are simply part of learning.
To be able to accept what happens to us along the journey, is the only way in which we are able to crete enough space, enough softness to absorb what has been delivered to us as a lesson.
Jeez, I'm not sure I am making much sense ( the one i wrote earlier was much more succinct!)
I'm reading quite a lot at the moment about the power of Growth Mindset V Set Mindset.
The basic premise being that to be without negative judgement of 'failure' and 'mistake' leaves us open to the lessons which come with the experience.
I can feel myself rambling, so a list is required!
1. Contraction and Expansion are two equal sides to the same coin. One simply cannot exist without the other. Unfortunately, we have, in our goal driven system, been conditioned to believe that 'expanding', 'driving', 'moving forward' , are our end game.
Without allowing ourselves the mental space to step back, absorb, and be quiet, then all the 'doing' in the world will not fully germinate.
2. As you well know I struggle sometimes with the very physical symptoms of work related anxiety.
IN an effort to calm this turmoil I've been practicing some coaching from the incredible Sheryl Paul.
It was whilst listening to one of her lessons last week that I felt myself experience one of those 'ah hah' moments.
She asked us listeners to get quiet with ourselves and consider, really consider 'what are my gifts...?', and 'what can I contribute'?
It was during this exercise, when I momentarily stepped out of myself, and imagined myself saying to a 3rd party 'this is my contribution' that I felt myself relax..
You see, as much as I hate to bring in the old adage 'The universe wants what you have', I truly believe this to be the case. I think we all have a utterly unique contribution to make, one that (even if we don't know it yet) the world is hungry to receive, and when you allow yourself to think like that, then all of a sudden it seems shameful to allow our egos to get in the way.
Once I sort of separated the contribution, from my self, it suddenly became far far less scary.
Making time for yourself, your home, relationships etc are really just part of taking good care of the precious cargo. So, in a way, its as much a duty to do this as to fulfil ones heartfelt ambitions.
I'm so happy to hear that you are going to endeavour to carve out time for yourself & HWSNBN whilst navigating what sounds like a craaaaazzzyy busy period.
Sx
I love these ideas and thoughts Sophie, they fold in beautifully with one of my favorite yogic expressions: how can I serve?
DeleteSo many people feel that being in service of others is somehow beneath them, but quite the opposite is true. How can I serve can also be interpreted as how can my gifts and talents be best used in the world to make the world a better place, right?
Very cool.
xoxo
Hi Shan,
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to this 'efforting' idea too, sometimes we spend so long trying so hard to make things happen that we lose sight of why or where we started from in the first place. I'm doing a little bit of surrendering lately too, giving up trying to be all things and corner all possibilities, and just getting back to being 'me', whatever that looks like.
What Sophie wrote is really interesting, especially about the journey being full of bends and twists and turns... when we learn and grow, we don't always know the path we'll end up on - sometimes it's a good one, sometimes not so much, but if we just allow ourselves to be open to anything, I believe we will reach where we were meant to be eventually. And so will you with your amazing screenwriting! You've already reached dizzy heights to me, but I hope you go on to fulfil more of what your heart desires, for the reasons you started out in the first place!!
September... how already?!
Janice x
Janice, you are one of the busiest most dedicated women I know, so to hear that you are slowing down and surrendering too means I am in great company. I love the getting back to just being "me" part, you're great!
DeleteThanks Shan. I agree, 'me' feels better than anything else :-)
Delete