I don't know how it is around your house, but at mine, if you're making the breakfast and you burn the toast? You're eating that charred piece of cardboard. Same goes if you break the yolk. Is it fair that the person who does all the work gets the crappiest breakfast if it happens not to turn out? I dunno, but them's the breaks.
Doesn't it sometimes seem like moms, or just women in general, sometimes get the short end of the stick? I'm very lucky at my house. I cannot make a good breakfast to save my life and He Who Shall Not Be Named, rocks the breakfast kitchen, so generally he makes it and I devour it happily. But I'm not always as lucky out in the real world.
If we were going by statistics, we'd learn that women get less top jobs, we earn less, and we're often doing more because we're just better multi-taskers. This isn't a post to bitch and moan about inequality - far from it. It's a lead up to my virtue of the month.
Last month I was writing about how often I find myself in a position where I am surrounded by people with more experience than I have, or they are better or more successful than I am. In fact quite often it's the case that I am the underdog. My girl Donna commented on how sad it was that we as women don't give ourselves enough credit. So my immediate reaction was to pick "Self-acceptance" as the virtue for March. But hang on a second... Acceptance by its very nature suggests "being received as adequate". Donna isn't adequate, she's exceptional, so why should she have to "accept" herself as if she were flawed? And by that logic, why should you or I or anyone else for that matter?
Most of us here are grown-ups. We're accomplished in our own fields and in fact if we were men, we might even be shouting our own accolades from the highest mountain. Okay perhaps not, but you know what I mean. Men just seem less afraid to speak up for what they want and deserve, less shy about acknowledging their successes, so can we not learn from them?
I believe we can.
I'm not about to post my CV or list my accomplishments so the whole world can pat me on the back, however, I can give myself credit where credit is due. I mean if I was a complete waste of space, I'd have never found myself in meetings or on panels or in places where I am surrounded by all these people that I respect and admire now would I? Nor would you. So how about we decide that we are good enough, that we are worthy, that we are smart, pretty, funny, healthy, whatever else we deep down need to finally see that we are and give ourselves some credit.
So the virtue for March? Self-Credit. Recognize yourself this month even if it's just for the tiny things like having the willpower to chose dark chocolate over milk chocolate, or waking up early to take time for meditation, or getting that big project done on time and under budget - whatever it is that you reached for and got, pat yourself on the back this month.
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Now just as an aside, here's a little story that might make you sit up and say Omigod, I'd probably do that too and how dumb is that?
I've been having health issues for months now, since last June actually. I kept coming up empty. I have a compromised immune and seriously low iron but no one could figure out why.
First off let me say I now know what is going on and am getting treatment and all is well. But here's the story....
He Who Shall Not Be Named and I decided to drive up to Whistler for the day and go for a hike. We arrived, hung out in town, grabbed some tea and set off for the trail. As we parked up, I started experiencing chest pain. Still, I soldiered on and off we went. Not ten minutes in, the pain got worse and we decided we'd better pack it in and head home. I'd been out of town all the previous week working crazy hours on a live show so I was tired. No biggie.
We're on the highway and next thing you know, this chest pain is radiating into my back and my left hand is starting to tingle. Yeah, it's going numb. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Holy crap, I might be having a heart attack!" Can that be true? That can't be true....
So we drove on. The further out of Whistler we got, the worse I began to feel. I wondered if I could make it home and just go to bed. Nope, this was happening. But here's the best part as it relates to the virtue.
I had the option of going to emergency in a small town between Whistler and Vancouver, but I wasn't sure I wanted to do that. I didn't want to look foolish. Didn't want to take up the doctor's time or steal a hospital bed from someone who really needed it. And mostly? I didn't want to inconvenience anyone. Are you fucking kidding me? If I was having a heart attack don't you think my death might be a bit more of an inconvenience than a hospital visit?
Yeah. We went to the Squamish Emergency room. It wasn't a heart attack. The thing that had been plaguing me for months had finally caught up with me and was now making itself known. I have a bacterial infection. It got to my wee heart and caused some inflammation. Advil took care of the pain and I was right as rain. I am on a three-month course of treatment for the infection so at the end of the day it's all good. I'm betting I've had this puppy living in me for years slowly chipping away at me and wearing me down, and by the time I get through treatment, I'll feel like my old self again. I hope.
But isn't that so lame? We are just so used to not ruffling feathers, not putting anyone out, not wanting to "bother" anyone, that I was almost willing to chance my health. Dumb dumb dumb.
Give yourself some credit, already, geez.
xoxo
Shan
