Hope In A Jar and The TEN Shamandments

First off that's prob'ly the worst title for a post in blogging history and secondly I have no idea how I am going to tie the two together. Yikes. 

Do people even still blog any more? I am feeling so out of touch with all the new apps and gadgets, I think the new thing is Vlogging - it's like video blogging and then there is this other thing Perisope? Is that right? Wait lemme look it up...

Good thing you aren't reading this in real time it's taken me ages to find it. So it's an app that let's you broadcast live video and let's followers comment in real time. These all seem like really cool things however I am a strictly behind the scenes kind of girl, so if you're looking for videos and live broadcasts about stuff, you will have to look elsewhere as I am old-school. 

He Who Shall Not Be Named calls me a Luddite. I still read books on paper, Yo!

So speaking of books, one of my old time fave girlie-girl books is called Hope In a Jar by Beth Harbison.

Such a cute story that I think would make a great film but this isn't a book review post, I just stole the title because it fits in with my Virtue of the Month for December. Now might be a good time to mention that I am really sick, so I am at home hopped up on cold & flu medication and like that great Prince tune croons -- forgive me if I go astray.

Oh what the hell since we're here, lemme tell you about the book. I'll just give you the cliff notes off the back - A Hilarious touching novel about friendship, Love's Baby Soft perfume, Watermelon Lip Smackers, bad run-ins with Sun-In, and the healing power of "Gee your hair smells terrific." Hope in a jar: We all need it. 

If you're anywhere close in age to me, all of that stuff will ring nostalgic. Oh Sun-In, how orange you turned my tresses. The book is about these two best friends who had a fight in high school and now on the eve of their 20th high school reunion their paths once again cross and hijinx ensue. An amazingly fun beach or holiday read if you're looking for a laugh and some light entertainment.

As an aside, the cosmetics company Philosophy makes a moisturizer called Hope In A Jar, and yeah, I'm not too proud to admit that I tried it after reading the book.

Okay, best be getting on with the post I intended to write.

When the month of October dawned I was determined to make it awesome!

And baby it was! It was the month that I got to fly to New York my favorite city and I got to meet Tracy Anderson, my favorite trainer and hang out with some of the coolest women I have ever met in my life, talk about blessed. The virtue for October was Believe. It became apparent through circumstance and self-reflection that I hadn't really believed in myself so the Believe Jar was born. It worked such wonders in my life that I held it over for November you can check it out HERE. Now it's just a part of daily life. Can't get on with my day until I drop a note in the believe jar.

The fact is, believing in myself has made that much of an impact that it has become one of my ten personal commandments, or what I like to call the Shamandments.  

I'll get there in a second, so stay with me here.

It's one thing to think up a monthly virtue or a behaviour that you'd like to cultivate and write it on the calendar for the month, but it's quite another thing altogether to really live it. Making that believe jar helped me to practice believing in myself in a physical way. I had to physically write down on a piece of paper (yep, Luddite) one thing that I believed about myself every day and add it to the jar. It's hard. If you've never done it I'd suggest trying it. I got my BFF's from the Metamorphosis Social Club (thanks for that Title Nat) Natalia and Sophie to try this with me and they struggled too. It's easy to pick ourselves apart and find fault with who we are, much harder to find nice things to say about ourselves. So, it is a practice I will continue. I will have to empty the jar now tho because it's stuffed to capacity.

It got me thinking about what other virtue I might like to practice in a physical way that would sew some light into my life... and Hope in a Jar was born. Plus what better time to be hoping or making wishes than at Christmastime? 

I also think that hope and belief go hand in hand. For example you might believe that you have potential but what about success? 

You can't fake your way into that. You can't say "I believe I am successful" if the standards by which you measure success (whatever they are) are not being met. But you can hope for success can't you? Hope is a very positive feeling and who couldn't benefit from more positive in their lives right?

So HOPE is my virtue for the month of December.

I feel the need to expound upon this concept a little further and tell you why I chose hope. I believe in the law of attraction - that what we think we become, what we believe we achieve etc. Using positive intention I've attracted a good many things into my life and the evidence of this work has never been more apparent in my life than with the believe jar. I believed myself into a writer's room on a TV show, which has been a long-standing goal for me for the past three or four years and I even made it a new years resolution for 2015. I'm in a room and could not be happier! 

But if I may backtrack a little, year and years ago, my best friend Yania was single, had been through her share of rotten relationships and she'd just lost her dad. It was a tough time for her. She could have allowed herself to spiral downward into a very dark and lonely place, but instead she did the work that generated the life of her dreams. She started a journal called Hope for my Partner. In it, she started listing the things that she hoped her potential future mate would have. She hoped that he'd have a love of the outdoors, that his enjoyment of physical activity might spark her own, that he'd have sparkly eyes that crinkled at the corners when he smiled (I dunno if that was actually a hope) but the man she attracted, the guy who is now her husband and the father of her child has these remarkable blue eyes that transform his whole face when he smiles and yeah, he trained the Austrian snow board team - the guy is super sporty and outdoorsy.

The point is that it worked! Her "hopes for my partner" journal really worked. Yan if you're reading this, I hope I didn't bastardize the story too badly - can I have a pass on account of the cold meds??

So don't tell my Manager or my Agent this, but when I was looking for representation both in LA and here in Toronto - I did the same thing. Hopes for my Manager, Hopes for my Agent - I hoped that they'd love the work they did, hoped they'd see the potential in my voice and be eager to match that with other creative types etc. So you may have guessed I not only have reps but I love them! Like love love them! They rock. When I hear other people complain about how shitty their agent is, or how they don't do squat for them (hey I used to be that writer) I just say nope, I love my agent, she's the absolute best. Because she is as I hoped she would be - she's simply amazing.  

So... Hope in a Jar this month anyone? Who's with me? Imagine what we ca dream up together. It's going to be fabulous. Let me start early by saying I hope I feel better by tomorrow so I can get back into the writer's room and not make anyone else sick! Yikes.

Hopes and beliefs, it's a pretty weak segue into the Shamandments but nevertheless that's what's next.

If you're a reader who's been with me for any length of time, you'll no doubt be familiar with the Shamandments from Mastering The Method -  THIS is where they all started with Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project. They grew into more than five and revolved mostly around my workouts with the Method. But since then I have grown and evolved - like you do - and I thought it was high time to update those personal commandments.

There's this amazing quote by Steve Jobs that says: 

"Your time is limited so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

I just love that. But you need to think about it, you need to consider what your own heart says, what rules does it want you to live by so that you can be your most authentic self. I came up with some rules that suite me. Feel free to steal, use or borrow any of the following and make them your own, nobel reader.

The NEW Ten Shamanments

1) Be Shannon (This is Gretchen's golden rule, mine too with good reason, don't try to be somebody else you'll never find happiness there)

2) Find a reason every day to believe in myself

3) Write it down (that's the tricky part because it makes you actually have to put number two into practice)

4) Act the way I want to feel (I think this is also one of Gretchen's rules)

5) No being a hateful meanie to myself

6) Do my best and forget the rest (I think this dove-tails nicely with #1)

6) Make it my own. Whether it's my workout, my diet, my look or my life, personalize it to suit me and then I can own it)

7) Let love be the boss of me rather than fear

8) Set achievable goals. It's the first step to self improvement.

9) Remain humble no matter what your achievements or successes, simple living leads to higher thinking.

10) Feed the hunger in my belly, not in my head. (This is a holdover from the original rules, I kept it because I need to practice it daily. Emotional eating is a killer and we need to be vigilant.)

So that's it, that's all. Welcome to December (well nearly) I'm going back to bed. I do realize that this isn't my most eloquent or well-written post but you have my good intentions and all of my heart. Hope to see you again soon.

xo
Shan

A Class With Tracy Anderson - Whoa!

If you'd have come to me on September 11th, 2010 when I wrote The Challenge, my first ever blog post about my journey into The Tracy Anderson Method and said: "Hey in five years, you're going to meet this group of women through an online photo contest and then you're all going to go to New York and workout together with Tracy Anderson in her Tribeca studio and she is going to know who you all are."... I'd have been like, yeah right, I want whatever you're smoking! 

All I can say now is Alice has got nothing on me. She might have fallen down the rabbit hole into Wonderland and seen some pretty amazing stuff but this? THIS?!?

I never saw THIS coming! 

You know how I like to digress, right? You didn't? Oh, well then you should go to the top of the page and click on What's This Blog because there is a clause in there that states: "I reserve the right to meander, waffle on, whinge, moan, crack myself up, etc. etc." So with that in mind...

Happy November!

Let's talk about November. It's the first of the month. I love the firsts of the months because they allow us to start fresh. To come up with a monthly virtue, to have some resolutions, and they basically give us (ME) permission for a do-over if we so need. 

So last month I chose BELIEVE as my virtue. I don't think I wrote about that, I'm sorry it was a crazy busy time. I chose Believe because my friend Jackie said I needed more self-esteem, that I didn't believe in myself enough and so she had me create my Believe Jar. I feel like I posted about this, so if I did and I am being repeaty repeaty, forgive me. Here's my jar.

The idea is to put in one thing into the jar that you believe about yourself each morning to build that "believe in yourself" muscle. Harder than it sounds. I am not sure I'm quite there yet so guess what the virtue for November is going to be?

BELIEVE!

Believe you're amazing, Believe that you can do anything you put your mind to, Believe everything is possible, Believe you are worth it! 

And keeping that in mind look what is beginning tomorrow (November 2nd)....

Eeeeeeeeeeee I am so excited and I really do feel like I am Alice in Wonderland just following the White Rabbit to where I am supposed to go. How fitting and fortuitous no? Join me as I meditate the next three weeks away with Oprah and Deepak, you can sign up HERE if you want to.

So, you wanna hear about my weekend with Tracy now? I am so excited to tell you all about it, but I also didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to think I was bragging or something, or that I think I'm all that now, because believe me (ha, believe see? It's everywhere) I am more humbled than anything by this whole experience.

I don't want to go into detail about how it all came to be. So the Cliff Notes version is this. At the end of December last year, Tracy came out with Streaming where you could sign up and get a new class each week working out with her in the studio. So fun, right? 

Then in January she launched this Instagram contest where you subscribe to Streaming, you follow her on Instagram and post weekly pics of your streaming experience - mine looked a lot like this...

You see? Not much has changed from my Meta days where I was completely convinced that Tracy was trying to kill me. Even the dog was exhausted just from watching.

Anyway through these posts and pics I got to know several of these amazing women who were also into Tracy's Method and they were nailing it, hitting the mat every day and sending inspiration across the Instagram web waves. At the end of the month Tracy and her posse chose the winners, and while I was not one of them I still felt like a winner. One for having worked out every single day in January and not dying, and two for having met these "girls for girls" kind of women. So much love and support. Well all of that love and support led to this crazy spectacular idea from Emery, check her out HERE, that wouldn't it be cool if we could ALL workout with Tracy. So she asked and Tracy said yes and this happened.

 
If you look at the very top of this pic, you can see my huge grin as I hold up my iPhone. This is the tiny change room at the Tribeca studio. Would you like me to rewind slightly? Okay then I will.

You still here? I wasn't sure if that was a **Yawn** sure go on, Zzzzzz, snore, or a: YEAH woman how did this happen???

So our Emery set the wheels in motion and the weekend event was on, it wasn't on, it was on, drama drama drama - then finally "We're doing it!" But I wasn't sure that I was. I was so scared. In fact I almost didn't go. Honestly, Tracy is super amazing, but all that heat? Those crazy moves? Half the time at home I'd break out in tears because it felt so hard I believed I was in over-my-head. (Oh my beautiful Believe Jar, how far we've come together.) A close friend along with He Who Shall Not Be Named convinced me that I had as much right to be there as anyone else, I was invited after all, wasn't I? Yes I was. So I decided to go, but that wasn't the end of my terror, it actually got much worse.

I mean to tell you I was scared shitless. You know me, I have always been a half-ass-er. My rapper name is Lay-zee for crying out loud.  

I never do cardio, I never work out with shoes on much less weights, now I was going to have to put on sneakers and weights and try to keep up with these Super-women who seemed so much more hard-core than me. They did hours of working out - full double weights and hours of cardio. I was going to be Billy No Friends, after-all hadn't I always been? I'm used to being the odd man out, the loner, hell it's why I chose the Method and Streaming and all of it because I got to do it alone.

Anyway if I wasn't nervous enough, I went and dislocated my rib the very week before going.

It was (and is still) super painful. (Honestly I thought it was a sign that I should not be going.) I didn't have range of motion, it hurt to breathe, but thankfully my masterful friend/chiropractor/witch-doctor was able to tape me up for the event so that I could stand up-right.
 
So we all flew from our respective homes as far away as South Africa and as close as Queens - okay Agi didn't fly she drove, and we met on a Friday night in Soho. I was worried. What if we didn't connect? What if it was just an online thing and when we met they'd all be like who the hell are you? I don't post a lot of selfies, so a few people actually didn't know who I was.

But the first meetings looked a lot like this....

There were tears, there was laughter, there was a whole lot of hugging. Oh my ribs!

You might know many of them from their sweaty posts but look at these girls all dressed up...

 

It was real, the connection, the love, the support - I've never felt anything like it. 

Until stepping into that room the next day. The energy was like being at a massively connected spiritual retreat of some kind. I mean, I lived in a yoga ashram and didn't feel this intense pure love and joy.

 
I know you cannot see me in the class that is currently online because I like to stick to the shadows and prefer to be BEHIND the camera, but can you pick me out? My where's Waldo moment here - I'm under the clock next to the beautiful Erica. Look at this group. So I guess you want to hear about the class, huh?

I was super nervous, I had total butterflies, but when Tracy walked in and greeted us, her voice set me at ease. I'd been listening to her for the better part of six years. It was going to be okay.

Me, always with the camera. But isn't it cool that she has more or less kept me/us in shape all these years? So cool. You rock Tracy Anderson! She was so generous and warm. She took all our hugs and squeals in stride.

But then it was time to move. I thought I would die. The door closed, the temperature rose, I was in the very back corner right in front of the heater, humidifier AND speaker - holy shit talk about sensory overload. But the first thought that ran through my head was: "Hey, this is just like what I do at home, I can do this." It was a rather shocking moment. I was capable.

It's hard to see because it's a screen grab, but that is Clinsay in front of me and Nadineandrea13 next to me. Those are their IG names if you want to check them out. It was super surreal since I'd been following them online for months and now here we all were. WITH TRACY! Omigod.

I had been trying to avoid looking in the mirrors as much as possible but at one point I caught my reflection and I though, "Yo, Masters you have never looked this good at home" and then I realized that it wasn't my reflection lol - it was Lorettasfitnesslife. Omigod. Hilarious, she looks so great.

It was hot in the room but not too hot to stand it, so if you've been putting off going to a Vitality Week or visiting a studio, don't. If I can take it so can you. Just bring lots of water. The heat made me hurt less and move more so I think it is something I want to introduce at home, just not so much the humidity because I am afraid of mold. I don't think I could replicate that sort of heat and humidity anyway. But I quite enjoyed it while there.

There was of course those moments where I was thinking fuck we've got a whole 'nother side to do yet, but you just get so caught up in the music and the movements of those around you that you go with it, it feeds you. The biggest take away was that yes, ladies, online streaming is just like what Tracy is doing live every day. The only difference is that at home I can actually see her. In class I was following either Gillian or Gippersmith (Karen) to know what to do next. 

My advice or what I would know what to do next time is never fly out right after class. We had an afternoon session on the Sunday and I flew out right after taking a shower. I was so ill by the time I hit my gate.

The class really takes a lot out of you, more than at home I think because I tended not to rest in class whereas at home, I might take a break or do less reps. The heat sucks everything out of you. It's better to be able to grab some food and re-hydrate and just chill rather than haul a bag through a crowed airport and stand in endless lines. Especially when injured, duh!

At the airport as I was sitting at the gate I really thought I was going to faint or die. It was so bad, it got to the point where I felt like I would never ever do another live class again, but it's like childbirth. The second the pain is gone, it's forgotten and you cannot wait for the next class.

I'm more inspired and reinvigorated than ever. Still got a bum rib but I am going to try and learn the cardio. You'll believe it when you see it? I know, me too. ha ha. So not a dancer but since Tracy has gone to all the trouble of creating new content with breakdowns, I kind of feel like it would be rude not to.

She spoke at length answering tons of questions, so much that is beyond the scope of this already too long post - stuff like about menopause, cellulite, diet, supplements etc, but the biggest take away was this...

She is designing these workouts with your whole body in mind and with a long range plan. So if one week she doesn't do abs in the master class, do not add them. If she isn't using ankle weights, don't add them on to "make it harder" you are fucking up the long range plan for those accessory muscles. Also if she is adding weight, you should do the same. If you find that you're bulking when you do, really look at those angles, watch in the mirror. Are you getting that leg high enough or hitting it in the same place she is, if you're not you might be activating other muscle groups and that is what is causing you to bulk. 

Just trust her. I know it's hard, but after all these years, I do trust her. (Okay I still don't wear shoes or use double weights at home, but I'm thinking those 2.5 ankle weights might make a nice Christmas gift)

I hope this was helpful and fun. Last words, if you get a chance to do a class with her, do it. She is the real deal, the genuine article. She cares for us, she listens to us, and does this for us because she truly loves it and it shows.

#bestweekendever

Love,
Shan


 

 
 

The Keys to the Kingdom!

Hello and Happy Taurus full moon super moon Tuesday to you. How's that for a day. If you're energy is all over the map today or your witnessing some cray behavior all around you that might be why.

So...

How've you been? What's new and wonderful in your world? Been a long time friends and I have got a lot to say tonight so why not settle in with a nice cozy cup of tea and share an adventure that's been over two years in the making. It's cool. Go make your tea... I'll wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You back? Good. Get comfy it's gonna be a long one. Do you remember Mastering The Method, my blog about fitness, food, and let's be honest everything Tracy Anderson? If you were a reader or if you know me (even a little bit), you know that one of the biggest challenges I've faced in my post 30's life is balance where my diet is concerned. I could never find it. Like my exploration with fitness I tried everything that everyone ever recommended to me from The Kettle Bell Goddess workout to Physique 57, P90-X to practically every single DVD that fucking Beach Body ever pumped out until I hit upon a little Mat DVD created by Tracy Anderson and then I knew I'd found my path?

Yeah, my food journey has been even longer. Oh lordissa so much longer and filled with lots more ups and downs and bumps in the "rocky road" - lil throw back to ice cream there for all my sugar-junkies out there. I call us junkies because if like me you crave sugar it becomes your crack. I tried it all. All the quick fixes cleanses and detoxes, the master cleanse where you only drink like water with cayenne pepper and lemon and maple syrup, remember that one? That ended in a giant vat of pasta. Yikes. Or what about the cabbage soup diet. Still get a twitch whenever I smell cooked cabbage. 

I have been a vegetarian for a million years so naturally Skinny Bitch caught me for a while. The Kind Diet by Alicia Silverstone was a fave but I think I just made and ate way too many of her vegan chocolate peanut butter cups. I read French Women Don't Get Fat, The China Study, The Every-girl's Guide to Diet and Fitness, just about everything that Bethenny Frankel has ever written - but I'm sorry if you lack balance and more importantly control, going to a party and having just one mini-quiche ain't gonna cut it biatch! 

Gawd. Did no one understand me? Insert uncontrollable sobbing.

I could go on for pages but I think you get the idea noble reader, you're not an idiot. In fact chances are I'd say you're nodding along with me going "me too! I read that one" and perhaps for you one of those books or plans or cleanses or practices or diets worked, but for me? Not so much.

Of course, I'd never been one for diet changes. As a teen and into my 20's I had one of those enviable metabolisms that could burn pizza like lava cutting through a forest. But once I hit my 30's I was lost and the middle-aged spread started taking over. I just could not understand how I could no longer eat whatever I wanted without side effects. Was there no God?

Hello - Abcentric anyone? I mean geez. I've said it before, I began to resemble a marshmallow stood on toothpicks, or like a watermelon in Lycra. Not pretty.

When Tracy came out with her book, I dove in and I was fully committed (for 30 days). Because it was only 30 days. I could do that. And I did. Her diet worked. I lost over 20 pounds which on my frame was a lot. But it was so low in protein and calories I was suffering all sorts - from migraines to light-headedness and a serious lack of energy. I don't even think that Tracy recommends that diet anymore - we've all evolved.

The long and short of it was this... I managed to keep half the weight off. I went from the 30-Day Method book to 90 days on Metamorphosis (loosely following her diet plan) but from there?? I floundered. Yes I did stick with Continuity and thank goodness for Live Streaming, but I wasn't able to get back to that fab ab weight without starving. 

I could never seem to get that other half of the weight off and dammit I wanted to.


You and I both know that exercise is only part of the equation. We gotta eat right. But what the hell is that anyway? I thought I'd found my way with Kimberly Snyder's Beauty Detox Solution and her glowing green smoothies - still love her and the smoothies are a part of my life but they aren't right every day. I continued to see-saw, two pounds off, four pounds on and was beginning to feel like my life was a continuing failed diet. That is a very depressing place to live my lovelies. Once again I'd resigned myself to a middle-aged metabolism, fine with my weight but not super comfy in my own skin.

Silver lining?? Have a look.

Yep it says I have achieved my goal but it took 28 months not 28 days people. That's rather disheartening. Eleven pounds that took over two years? If I was marketing that shit no one would buy it. I mean I know they say the last five pounds are the hardest but come on. 

If these are my golden years I was feeling like I got given fool's gold.

7 pounds ago I was in a pit. I'd all but given up on what or how to eat and was working on being "fine" with the way I was. Nothing wrong with that, it just isn't like me to give up. I was going to be "just over" for the rest of my life. 

Luckily for me I have magic people surrounding me. People whom I love, respect, admire and adore. One such magical woman is a fantastically amazing beautiful British woman named Sophie. You will want to know her too. She is so genuine and warm and generous and I'm sorry Soph, I'm gonna say it - THIN! I don't like her because she is thin, I like her because of who she is and she just happens to be thin. I'd show you a picture of her if I didn't think she'd murder me and also if she didn't have copious amounts of dirt on me lol.

Anyway, this one fine day we were messaging back and forth and in my pudgey pity party I said, how do you do it? You're almost as old as me (not really but she's more than 30 so close enough by my calculations) and her answer was simple. She said she eats clean.

Well what in the fuck and God's good name does that even mean?!?

I've read Tosca Reno's book, (told you I've read them all) I've heard all about clean eating but it's so vast how the heck do you narrow it down? My friend Janice even came up with a brilliant cook book called Easy Tasty Clean that was fantastic and brilliant (and Janice I love you!) and still I could not get the weight off. 

So Sophie was good enough to outline an average day/week of eating and I thought it sounded reasonable, but it was like sooooooo simple. How could it be so simple? The diet industry makes bazillions of gazzillions of dollars off diets...

She followed the plan outlined by Dr. Alejandro Junger, M.D. in his book Clean. I know you know it. I knew it; it had been on my shelf for years because someone at some point had recommended it. I'm sure that I may have even recommended it to you my brilliant readers, but I'd never really taken it in. Sure I'd skimmed it, tried it for a few days but detox -schmeetox, you've done one you've done them all and I was so much more about the pre-tox part where you load up on chips and candy, chocolate and cake just so you have a store-house of sweet memories to get you through the  famine. I could not wrap my head around it.

But something got the better of me. My health. I was coming off a nine-day migraine. Hear me! Nine days. I had black outs, vomiting, my body was basically holding me hostage. Earlier this year I suffered from a kidney infection that led to a heart infection (no laughing matter) and most of the time I was so exhausted I could barely drag my ass out of bed so you can imagine I wasn't exactly the dream team on the mat. I was phoning it in. I felt rotten just generally. Something had to give.

So I thought screw it, it can't get much worse and Dr. Junger says I only have to give him three weeks, 21 piddly little days. I gave Tracy 30 I suppose I could hand over 21 more to a respected doctor - I mean Jeez the migraine had me for 9. Did I want to go through that every month?

I got out my trusty little journal and I filled out the questionnaire. Damn if I didn't answer yes to nearly every question. Yes I get lots of headaches, bad ones. Viruses, check. Bloated after meals, check. Puffy eyes and face, check. You mean that wasn't just an inevitable sign of old age?? Check check and check to dark circles, bad breathe and sugar cravings. Was this guy inside my head or what? I wrote it all down followed by day one - took my weight, my measurements and my photo. Gross. You'll never see that one sorry. But here is my trusty journal, isn't she so cute??

I was honest and I kept track every day for 21 days. I won't go into details of the book because this post is long as it is, but trust me you'll want to read the it. The plan was dead simple to follow just as Sophie promised me it would be. You get a smoothie for breakfast, a good healthy solid lunch, and a soup or smoothie for dinner. Then you wait a full 12 hours or more before starting up again the next day. I thought I would starve to death. I didn't fancy the idea of cooking every day. Plus there were things I didn't want to give up. I lived on banana smoothies, no bananas? Eggs where my go to protein and they were not allowed? No peanut butter, what? Tomatoes were off the list too? No dairy, no caffeine, no sugar, no gluten? What? WHAT?!? Was this some sort of Gwyneth Paltrow diet? Why yes it was. Check out the intro to her cookbook "It's All Good" and you'll see it there in black and white. I'd read this before how had it not sunk in?

What in the world was I going to eat. I sure as hell wasn't going to eat chilled cucumber soup with dill, I don't care how hungry I got. This wasn't going to work. I'd forgotten the Shamandments. Number one, be Shannon. I was not now nor was I ever going to be Gwyneth. And Shamandment number 13, make it your own. If I was going to give this my all, I was gonna make it my bitch. I was gonna own it. I suspended my distaste for weird smoothies and just gave in to what Junger suggested and the result, while not always delicious or my favorite, was colorful and kept me full through to lunch. Check out the pretty rainbow of smoothies.

Can you tell the ones with blueberries and raspberries are my fave? Look how full it is. I never did try to have juice, it just doesn't fill me up. I've got to have protein and while I did have to give up my PB, I gained almond butter and sunflower seed butter and I added such lovely things as dates. Junger suggests sweetening with Brown Rice Syrup, which during that first 21 days I did, but just prefer the wholeness and flavor of a good medjool date.

Lunch was trickier. I made a lot of quinoa and just added a variety of veggies which most days ended up looking a little like this.

Huge fan of micro-greens so have them every day. Sometimes sunflower sprouts, some days kale, arugula, or radish sprouts. Whatever I can get my hands on. But a kid can only take so much quinoa.

It was time to make a change. I did something I swore never to do. Ever. Like never ever. I made fish. I'm so sorry beautiful salmon. I love you swimming freely in the sea, but you absolutely sustain me. I began steaming it and alternating it with the quinoa. It is amazing. I feel sad because I hate the fact that something has to die to keep me alive - but no more headaches? Energy getting out of bed and on the mat? I had to accept that perhaps my diet really had been lacking.

Sometimes I'd make just a simple salad, other times I'd steam some beets or cauliflower, but always lunch stayed super simple.

Nothing fancy here. I'd gotten into the habit of steaming up three pieces of salmon at once so that was three lunches taken care of. Then I'd do a couple of cups of quinoa and that would be lunch for the rest of the week, just rotating fresh veg. It got me in and out of the kitchen very quickly.

But dinner was going to be the tricky part. There was no way I was drinking juice or making some gross cold soup from the book so I had to deviate, but was always careful to stay away from no no ingredients.

I'd whip up a soup out of things I had on hand or picked up just for that. Leeks, onion, garlic, with a little cauliflower and zucchini, throw in veggie stock, cook for a half hour then blend and voila, liquid lunch ( or in this case dinner )

This was soup pre-blender. 

I'd make enough for 4 or five days or even enough to freeze some. This was Sophie's best advice. Plan and prepare so that through the weeks you have no excuse. (Love you girl) Still life gets busy and I couldn't always make homemade soup, so yes I did have a smoothie a few times at night, but never felt as good the next day as when I had a hot soup. I started picking up soups from the Sunflower Kitchen. Ready made, whole ingredient soups, with nothing contraband in them. They worked a treat.

This is one of my faves, Egyptian Lentil, yummy.

I was also never going to give up chocolate or Starbucks, lets be honest here. But I kept these things on with restrictions. Starbucks was not allowed more than three times a week and no dairy - luckily Starbucks now offers coconut milk and it's so good in my mocha I'll never go back to dairy. Sweet! As for chocolate? Green & Blacks is the only thing I will allow and it has to be dark. No exceptions.

Here is what is so interesting about this. Once you cut out all the crap, stuff like filler carbs (bread, pasta, white rice etc), remove the stuff that was causing inflammation (gluten, dairy, caffeine, sugar) you get off the roller-coaster ride of all that insulin and other hormonal stuff that I am not educated enough to explain here, and dark chocolate, the thing that was once a very dangerous gate-way drug to every other sugar-binge-worthy goody, simply becomes a small treat that you can have a few bites of and leave alone. Are you kidding me right now? I have control? I never assume that I am in control where sugar is concerned, but I find it manageable. Since tackling this way of eating three months ago (August 11th to be exact) I have not eaten a whole bar in a single day. Prior to Clean? I could eat two or three bars and be looking for what was next. No wonder I had excess weight, I'm only shocked I wasn't the size of an RV!

Sophie and I then convinced our Third Musketeer Natalia to give it a go. Now I am not certain what she is doing now that her 21 days are over, but during the course of her Clean experiment she lost around 7 pounds too and was feeling pretty damned good and dare I say proud of herself for having gained some control. Way to go girl!

So how is Clean different than anything else? I lost the other half of the post-meta regain which was super awesome but it wasn't exactly the first time I'd done that and regained it again! (yeah that was a confession a long time coming) I retook the questionnaire and nearly every question I had answered yes to only three weeks prior was getting a no answer. Did I have a cold or feel flu-like at all? Nope? Puffy face? Nah uh. Headaches, nope. I was still really super tired though. So what to do now that the 21 days were over.

Here's the lesson, the rub, the difference with Clean and other diets. This sort of became a way to eat that was no longer about losing weight. I will say it again, it was no longer about losing weight. You see when you go on a diet to lose weight or with weight-loss as your only goal, you will lose the weight if you stick to said diet whatever it may be. But once you reach your goal and go back to your old ways, the weight comes back. If you do something as extreme as Live Streaming or you run marathons or some other form of intense exercise, you might keep some or most of that weight off, but diet plays a huge role in our weight especially as we age.

I wanted to stick with Dr. Junger's plan for a variety of reasons that no longer had to do with my weight. I felt better, nay I felt good eating this way so I stuck with it (with modifications of course) And to my great delight my arthritic hands ached less in the morning, I was almost never bloated unless I strayed into a bag of potato chips or a fried breakfast.... What! It happens. And my headaches are fewer and farther between and have more to do with that time of the month than anything else. Plus I feel lighter mentally.

I have introduced a few things back into my diet - I'll take milk in my tea and that's a daily ritual. I've had eggs but they gave me serious gas so I avoid them. I tried bread but it no longer has power over me. Even pizza! I just don't seem to want that stuff anymore. Did I drink the kool-aide or swallow some magic pill? Perhaps. But I really enjoy lentil stew and feel good about nourishing myself with whole organic good-for-me meals.

I feel balanced.

Will I stay this way forever? I doubt it. Wagons were meant to be jumped off. But I wrote this post as much for me as I did for you. Want to know why?  Because it took two long years to get those 11 pounds off, much much longer to find a healthy control over food, and because once I saw that wonderful congrats on my Lose it App, I took a day to just eat whatever I wanted. Not only did I wake up feeling crappy, but I gained three and a half pounds. Over night! It took 28 months to get off 11 and I gained 3 1/2 over night? So not fair. But I know how to get it off and I feel good.

Plus I know this is realistic. I can do it anywhere even on the road. I might not carry my vitamix with me everywhere I go, but chances are I can grab a healthy smoothie - like this baby from the Juice Press in Soho. I love that!

 
Thank you Sophie and thank you Dr. Junger! I finally have mental freedom from cravings and food madness.

I want you to feel good too. Just throwing terms like "clean eating" or elimination diet around mean nothing unless you have tools that are accessible and shit you can incorporate into your day to day life. Trust me, I tried "The Plan" by Lyn Genet and that lasted a day because she had all these very fussy recipes and weird ingredients that I would never use nor have time to prep. Life is short, I want to enjoy it by eating yummy things that don't take hours to make and I want to have chocolate and fit into my skinny jeans.

I am a "have my cake and eat it too" kinda woman. (I guess in this case it's have my Green & Blacks and eat it too.)

If you've made it all the way to the end of this post I commend you. It is now after midnight, so technically no longer Tuesday or a super full moon. Whew. No wonder I took so long to share this, it was a lot. Thanks for hanging in there. I look forward to more of these chats. And I want to hear how you're doing. Did you try Clean? Are you managing your cravings? How're you feeling? Lemme know, I want to hear from you always.

Loads of love and giant hugs.
xo
Shan


 




 

So much to say...

How awful am I? Seriously, I never find time to get here anymore and I have so so much that I want to share with you. I think I found the cure to everything. lol
Okay not really but I am bursting with excitement over everything I have to share.

I just don't have so much time right now.

 
One of the things I want to talk to you about is my fabulous weekend with Tracy Anderson and a bunch of girls from Instagram. It was like nothing I have ever experienced. I wasn't going to write about it at all because I didn't want anyone to feel hurt or left out, but then I realized I was just being selfish. How many times had I asked you my brilliant and noble readers to share your experiences with me so I could share them back with all of you? Only like a million. I was living vicariously and it was awesome! Now it's my turn to share. Plus this blog is so teeny tiny and intimate it's just us and I know you guys might want to know how it went.

And I totally want to talk about how that has affected the way I see and approach streaming. Don't worry, this blog isn't going to be all about the Method again, but I STILL love it and I love Tracy even more. How is that possible??

I also want to talk to you about how... well you know how Meta ended and then we all kind of just wondered what we should do next or how to proceed. So some of us did Continuity, some stuck with videos, some moved on to other things, but like life was never really the same? I for one had gained back half the weight that I'd lost but was maintaining that weight forever so it was cool. But yet it really wasn't?

Well I gotta share that I recently hit my weight-loss goal. Yeah, I eventually got that other half to come off again and I totally want to tell you about it. (It only bloody took over two fucking years!) It's like weight-loss in your midlife is so not the same game as when you're 20 or even 30. I have pics of food and everything. You think I've had the time to get them off the phone and onto the computer yet tho? Oh hell no.

So if you're still here and you are interested in hearing about some of this stuff, then stay tuned because I swear it's coming. I had thought things would simmer down in October and that hasn't turned out to be the case, but November might be at least more normal. I'll definitely be here for the holidays, that I can promise you.

Thanks for hanging out with me, even though I haven't been around much. I still love you!!

xo
Shan


 

Who the fuck is that little voice in my head?

You know the one I'm talking about right? The hyper-critical one, the one that seems always to be judging or trying to make you feel guilty about some thing or other? No? Am I the only one with a little voice?

I sort of picture my inner critic as a Larry David lookalike who sits at his desk drinking horrible coffee, chain smoking Marlborough Reds, peering down on me from above just itching for ways to squash me like a bug. He tells me I'm not doing enough, or I'm not doing it right, or this person or that person or pretty much every other person on the planet is doing it better than me (whatever my 'it' is at the time) so why the hell even bother? And just when I think I am going to get the better of him, that I have found a way to silence his miserable ass he rears his scraggly balding grey head to tell me how stupid I am or worse... he shows up in someone I really like and makes her say mean things about herself.

Crap, that reminds me... No being a hateful meanie to myself. It's a Shamanment and I was going to rewrite those babies and bring them over here from Mastering The Method and I'd forgotten. Dammit. 

They were predominantly related to diet and exercise so I wanted to amend them to reflect my new priorities - things like perhaps being more organized so that they would have been done and posted up here already. Ooop, that sounded just like my Critic, didn't it?

So what brings all this up? I'm glad you asked.

Too much to encompass within the small scope of a single blog post, suffice it to say I have been feeling "less than" a lot lately. Not smart enough, not good enough, not quick enough, not strong enough, not worthy enough (that's been a biggie for me) not fit enough, not thin enough, young enough, pretty enough, talented enough, dedicated enough and on and on it goes. 

Well! Nay Nay I say! Screw not enough.

I. Am. Enough.

(Brene Brown wrote that, don't you just love her?)

The fact that I am. That I exist. That I've made it this far and I'm not completely crazy should prove that I am enough. Okay readers of this blog might argue the crazy part but I'm so okay with that.

I've been reading a fantastic book called The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney and in it, I discovered the most amazing quote...

"Keep high aspirations, moderate expectations, and small needs." H. Stein

Does that right there not sound like exactly the right recipe for happiness? Sure does, but I've never been one to follow the recipe.

The quest for perfection, the drive to so called "have it all" just gives the Critic fuel. None of us are perfect. What even is perfect? Isn't perfection kind of subjective? I think it is. Still, having big dreams makes it hard not to expect great things from yourself. And small needs? What the hell does that even mean? I'm needy and I know it, clap my hands. Sing it with me, needy and I know it clap my hands! I'm high maintenance. I'm a half-caff, shit on the side kind of girl and I am not sorry. But I digress. Of course I do, it's how I roll. It really got me thinking and wondering once again - What do I really want, and what exactly do I need? So far? I got nothin'! I don't have the answers.

In Olsen Laney's book she says:"We are hardwired never to be completely balanced or satisfied, and this keeps us physiologically limber and desiring change." Well that's a relief!

Or is it? If we're never satisfied how can we ever find happiness? How will we ever silence the voice in our heads?

The only thing that I can think of that even remotely has a chance of shutting the Critic up is to stop looking externally. Stop seeking answers to everything outside of ourselves. Don't compare, don't compete. Hard to do. But when we turn our attention within, when we allow ourselves time to sit with ourselves, when we ignore the Critic and listen quietly and intently for our True Self to speak up, something powerful happens. The voice in our head becomes very gentle, compassionate, loving and kind. That same voice we call upon to nurture a friend in need is the voice that comes from within us and is directed toward us and that my friends is like salve for the soul.

The bottom line is that we have more than one voice in our heads. And in the noisy chaotic external world in which we dwell most of the time, it's the loud crotchety Critic we may hear first. Our job is to seek the silence which holds all of the noise, touch that steady centre and then we're able to hear the other voice. 

Let's also not forget our Mother's voices, they're in there too!

Today, why not take a moment and turn an ear toward the softer, sweeter voice in your head knowing she's the one who speaks the truth when she whispers: "You are enough." Happy autumn my lovelies.

Warmly,
Shan